


After Twilight Has Fallen

by Twilight_Princess



Category: Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hurt but no comfort, Link is quietly suffering, poor kid, pretty much all the usual characters, well actually hurt with eventual comfort but not for a long time, what happens after the end of the game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 03:46:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9217193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Princess/pseuds/Twilight_Princess
Summary: Twilight Princess ended with Midna disappearing through a shattering Mirror of Twilight, leaving Link behind. What was never told was his reaction to her abandonment, and how he lived in the world after his quest. This is what happened next.





	1. Gone

 

"Link."

Link barely heard Zelda's words, and didn't even bother processing what they meant. He was too absorbed in what he was doing. He didn't have time to think about anything else.

"Link, stop."

The sand was practically scalding between his fingers. The sun was in just the right position to look down into the Mirror Chamber, and every time his skin came in contact with the sand it felt like fighting Darbus all over again. Link cursed under his breath, but continued to run his fingers through the burning sand, searching desperately for anything that reflected, the light, anything-

"Link!"

He felt a hand rest lightly on his shoulder, and even as he spun around to face his attacker and grab for the knife attached to his belt, Link was completely focused on where his feet were, or if there was any chance, any chance at all that he could be crushing one of the glimmering shards of Mirror under his feet.

"Easy there, my friend," Zelda said, her eyes calm even as Link's dagger pushed into her skin. Link withdrew his blade and looked away, ashamed.

"Sorry about that," he said, sheathing the knife as he dropped back into a crouch in one fluid motion. His fingers returned to the sand, and in seconds Zelda had once again retreated to the back of his mind.

"She's gone, Link," Zelda said gently. Link ignored her. "Link. You can't fix this."

"I repaired this mirror once, I can do it again," Link growled. His fingers hit something sharp and he felt the familiar prick of something sharp jabbing into his skin. He hissed, but brushed aside the sand to reveal a small bit of the mirror, no bigger than the pad of his pinkie finger. Link stared at it. "It's smaller than I thought it'd be," he murmured.

"You can't repair it again, and you know it," Zelda said, but this time she made no move to stop him. "When Zant shattered it, you got fourths. Midna's the leader of the Twili, Link. When she shatters it, it can't be repaired."

Link knew she was right, even as he gingerly lifted the mirror shard and placed it gently on the Mirror Pedestal. "I can fix this," he said again, returning to the sand. "She wouldn't have done this if I couldn't fix it."

Link stopped processing the passage of time. He was vaguely aware of the sun shifting from its direct position above to somewhere else, but he couldn't think about where. He vaguely took notice of Zelda's sigh of resignation and her departure, but he couldn't tell what time it was when she left or how long she had been gone. He crouched in the Mirror Chamber, digging and shifting through the sand until he couldn't see the glistening shards strewn around him. If they could even be called shards. The little flecks of the mirror were things that could barely be seen, much less reassembled into something that was glowing and covered in Twili patterns and could create a portal that Midna had jumped through, leaving him. What Link could find scattered amongst the sand wasn't even a dignified memory of the Mirror of Twilight.

Hours must've passed by the time Link finally let himself sit down, defeated. He casually noted that night had fallen, and Zelda was nowhere to be seen.The haze of looking for shards had passed, and Link realized with a bit of surprise that although dusk was falling, it was still sweltering inside the chamber. With legs trembling from being in the same cramped position too long, Link rose and climbed the steps to where the Mirror's pedestal stood barren. With the contents of the mirror scattered around him on the ground, the pedestal was nothing but a pretty and broken container.

Link grabbed the small shard of the mirror he had found off the still-warm stone and tucked it delicately in his pouch. When he looked up, he half expected to see the portal still open on the rock slab, the golden stairs suspended in mid air and Midna beckoning him on with her lilted smile. But the rock stayed just a rock, and Midna was nowhere to be found. 

"I'm really sorry," Zelda said. Link snapped to look towards her, where she had been sitting in the shadows, staring out at the mesa in the distance.

"I thought you had left," Link said. Zelda shrugged and stood up, brushing the dust and sand from where it had gathered in the folds of her dress.

"It was getting too hot in there, especially while I'm wearing something like this," she said, gesturing towards her dress. "Also, I wanted to sit down, and I was worried about getting in your way." The two of them stood in silence. "Also, I didn't want to leave without you. It just felt... wrong, I suppose," she said after a while.

"She promised she was going to let me come visit," Link said. Zelda looked at him, surprise and sympathy playing over her features. Link turned away. He didn't want her pity. "She said I could teach her royal guard a thing or two. I told her I would be honored."

"We couldn't have known she was planning on doing this," Zelda said. Link laughed bitterly.

"I've spent the past two years with her, Zelda. I should've known."

"Not to one up you, honey, but I shared a part of her soul with her, for a while," Zelda said, a small bite creeping into her words. "So when I tell you neither of us saw it coming, it was true."

Link didn't answer for a while. "How could she?" he asked after a while, keeping his voice quiet so Zelda couldn't hear it break. Even after everything he'd been through, Link still felt like he had to be polite and composed in front of the Princess of Hyrule.

"I have a feeling it had something to do with keeping our worlds safe," said Zelda. "I can understand that."

"Would you have done it? If you were her?" Link asked before he could stop himself. The Princess didn't answer, and it only made him feel worse. He abruptly turned back towards the chamber. "Maybe we can find some seal to close this place off from the wind. You have some royal mages, right? There's got to be some kind of spell they can use to make sure this stays the way it is. If we can just find everything, we can put it back together-"

"Link, stop!" Zelda said, and her tone made it clear that it wasn't a request, or even a suggestion. "She's gone. I'm really sorry, truly I am, but she's gone and we need to go. I'm sure you don't need me to remind you about the dangers of being out here at night."

"Well unless you want to walk back through the entirety of the Gerudo Desert, you're going to have to help me get Midna back, because she was our ride!" Link yelled before he could stop himself. "She teleported us here, don't you remember?" he asked softly. As the conversation had progressed, the pity on Zelda's face had become more and more apparent, and when she spoke again, it was so obvious that Link felt sick.

"I arranged for some guards to bring us horses. They should be here soon, and we need to meet them." Link turned towards her slowly.

"You arranged for horses?" he asked quietly. 

"Yes."

"When?"

"After Midna left, when you were having your breakdown."

"Bullshit. You would've had to tell them before we left."

"Link-"

"Did you know?" he asked. Zelda snorted.

"Oh, don't be preposterous."

"Not only would you have needed to tell your guards before we left, but they'd have to excavate the rock slide from the entrance to Gerudo. Just how long have you known?"

"I haven't known Link, I suspected!" Zelda said, finally rising her voice to match her own. And even standing outside with sweat slicking her hair to her scalp and her dress looking absolutely filthy, when the Princess shouted, people listened. Link stayed quiet. "And I wanted a contingency plan, just in case. Is that so wrong?"

"You didn't think to tell me? You didn't think that I, of all people, would want to know that?" Link took a step towards her, and for a second he saw fear flash in her eyes. But he didn't back down, and neither did she.

"Careful there, wolf boy," Zelda said, a rough edge in her voice. "Without Midna, you can't transform, so don't try to threaten me. I was only trying to make sure we didn't die in this desert, Link. Is that so wrong?"

He wanted to ask her how she knew, then. He wanted to ask her if there was some sign, something off about Midna that alerted the Princess to her intentions. He wanted to ask her if he had missed something, if he was blind, if he had misread their entire relationship. But instead Link sat down and dangled his feet over the edge of Arbiter's grounds, staring at where the sun was disappearing over the horizon.

"I really am sorry, Link."

"I know," he said. "Me too."


	2. Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link and Zelda stop for the night by the Cave of Ordeals on the way back to Hyrule Proper.

_"What do you think's down there?" Midna asked, peering down the stone stairway carved into Gerudo Mesa. "I don't recall seeing this place on your map."_

_"It's not here," said Link, brow furrowed, as he looked between his crumpled map and the entrance way. "According to the map, this place doesn't exist."_

_"Well, clearly, it does. Maybe you should find a new mapmaker," Midna suggested. "You know, one who actually knows where things are."_

_"To be fair, Midna, it was hidden under a bridge."_

_"No one would've been making maps while it was hidden under the bridge. If it's not on your map, they probably ignored it. What kind of map maker just ignores something as interesting as this?" Midna said. Link shook his head, a smile playing over his features._

_"Should we go in?" Link asked, his fingers going instinctively to the hilt of his sword. "Could be fun."_

_"Or it could be imminent death, just waiting for you to make a dumb decision," quipped Midna._

_"I don't make dumb decisions."_

_"That's because I don't let you make the decisions, pea brain. You're the brawns of this duo, remember?"_

_"I'm gonna go in," Link said, approaching the staircase, knowing that despite all her protests, Midna would follow._

_"Hey! Just where do you think you're going without me? You won't last two seconds."_

_"Sure thing, Midna."_

 

"-Are you listening to me?" Zelda asked. Link shook himself out of his thoughts, and tore his eyes from the portal atop Gerudo Mesa to look over at the Princess.

"Sorry, what?" he asked. Zelda sighed.

"I said, you know this desert better than anyone else here. Do you think it's worth trying to keep going, or do you think we should stop somewhere for the night?" Zelda reiterated. Link cast a nervous glance at the landscape before them, noting the fact that it was almost dark. He estimated it was eighty kilometers at _least_ until the rock opening from Gerudo to the Lake Hylia territory. Link didn't see the telltale signs of Moldorms approaching, but that didn't mean they wouldn't start to swarm later. They were always more daring at night.

"We might want to stop," he said hesitantly. He definitely didn't want to be responsible for pushing the group too far and getting the Princess killed. "I think we'd be fine, but I don't want to take any chances."

"Okay," Zelda said, slowing her horse's pace to trot beside Link instead of in front of him. "Where do you think we should seek shelter?" she asked. The two guards accompanying them both protested at once.

"Your Majesty, it may be more dangerous to try to protect you as a stationary target than making our way towards safety," said one of them, shooting Link a dirty look. Of course they were bound to feel a bit of animosity towards him- they were the royal guard, yet he was the one who saved the world. And now the Princess was taking advice directly from him. 

"I'm sorry, Captain Russell, but I trust Link's decisions."

"With all due respect, Your Highness, Link isn't trained to make tactical decisions for your well-being-"

"You forget yourself, Captain. This is the man who saved our world. I think he is _more_ than capable of making decisions for my well-being," Zelda snapped.

"Apologies, Princess. Of course," Russell said, glaring at Link once more before falling silent. Link had the urge to stick his tongue out at the guard, but he felt that really wouldn't help his case.

"Link? Ideas?" Zelda prompted again, watching him carefully even as his eyes wandered once again to the gaping portal in the sky over the mesa.

"Yeah, I've got one," he said, gently pulling at his horse's reins to turn her around. He bit back a growl of frustration when the horse wouldn't listen to him, and tugged a bit harder. He missed Epona; he never had to tell her to do anything twice. "Would you mind following me, Your Highness?" The title still felt awkward when aimed at her, but Link figured that it would just piss off the guards more if he didn't make an effort.

"Lead the way, dear Hero," Zelda said with a smirk. Link frowned at the nickname. The events of the "Twilight Crisis", as people were calling it, were still so recent in his mind that it was strange to even think about how people saw him. He didn't think of himself as a hero, someone who saved Hyrule and it's citizens; he was just a farmhand who had some expert help. How anyone could see anything _but_ that was beyond him, and everyone talking about the quest like it was something only a hero could do was starting to get on his nerves.

The path up to the mesa was difficult to negotiate, and made even more so by the ornery horse. Link was starting to suspect that the guards had given him this one just to watch him struggle by the time that the group approached the point where they'd have to go it on foot.

"Do you have something we could tie the horses up with?" Link asked, sliding off the horse smoothly and looking up at the looming portal above him.

"You want us to go all the way up there?" asked the second guard incredulously. "You're crazy." To everyone's surprise, Link laughed.

"Yeah, I've gotten that before," he said. "Trust me, nothing's going to bother us if we're up there."

"Can you guarantee that?" Captain Russell asked, his eyes already skimming the horizon for Moldorms or other monsters, his hand on the hilt of the sword. Link thought about the entrance to the Cave of Ordeals, where as a wolf he could smell danger and death beneath his feet. No animal with half a sense of smell would be crazy enough to go up there.

"Yes," he said simply. "Princess, if you would-"

Zelda slid off her horse even more gracefully than Link. "Do I just go up?" she asked, eyeing the steep stairs cautiously. 

"Yep," Link said, grabbing his bag from where he had tied it to his saddle. "Don't worry. It's not as bad as it looks, I promise."

* * *

 

"You know, the Princess used to listen to us," said Captain Russell, sitting down beside Link. "Every word we said, she took into consideration. I understand why she listens to you, but would it kill you to let us do our jobs?"

"She asked for my opinion," Link said simply. "I gave it."

"Well, I would appreciate it if you'd let _us_ advise her in the future," the Captain said. "Otherwise, what's the point of having us?"

"Don't worry, I won't be around for long," Link said. "I'll be out of your hair soon enough, and she'll start listening to you again."

"Somehow, I doubt that she's ever going to listen to us the same way she used to," the Captain said. "She's different now. It's obvious."

"I've been told that's what happens when people go through something traumatic," Link said distractedly, looking up at the portal again. His gaze just kept being drawn to it. Whenever he tried to look away, he always found himself staring right at it again. This troubled him. He had never been this fixated on the portals before. Sure, seeing the first one was weird, and gave him a headache, but after that they had just become part of the job. Why were they troubling him so much now?

Maybe he expected them to have gone away after Midna left. After all, she was the one who controlled them, wasn't she? Then why were they still here?

"That's what I've been told," Russell said, drawing Link's attention back to him. "What about you?"

"What?" Link asked, partially thrown off guard.

"You've been through more than anybody else, from what I can gather. Are you someone different from who you were before?" Link paused for a moment, considering. Was he different? He didn't feel different. But even as he thought it, he could smell so much more than he could when he left Ordon. He knew just how long it would take him to grab his sword. He knew how to use it for the most damage. He knew how to go places without being seen. He knew how to scare people. He knew how to threaten people. He always knew what he had to do to get his job done.

He knew how to kill, which was  _definitely_ something he didn't know how to do when he was just a farm boy from Ordon.

"That's a good question," he said finally. "I'm not sure yet."

"If I may say so, you look different than when you and the Princess left yesterday," the Captain said. "I've seen that look on plenty of soldiers. You look like you've been beaten." Link tried not to let it register on his face just how much that comment got to him. Just how true it was.

"I'm just tired," Link lied. "Believe it or not, it's been a long couple of years."

"I suppose for you, it has been," Russell said. "I hate to ask, but do you want to take the first watch? I'd like to talk to the Princess about some procedural things we'll have to take care of at the Castle when we get back."

"Sure," Link said, trying not to sound too eager. Ever since they had left Arbiter's Grounds, he'd been getting more and more restless. He was itching for something to do, and he wouldn't have been able to fall asleep even if given the option. He had been planning on asking even if Russell hadn't offered it to him. At least this way, he got to avoid seeming desperate. "I'll get you in a few hours."

"Thanks, Link," the Captain said, rising again. "You're a good man, you know," he added. Link just nodded in response, not in the mood to muster up a smile. He curled his fingers into the cloth of his tunic to stop them from shaking. It was never good when his hands were shaking. It usually led to him doing stupid things, according to Midna. She wasn't wrong.

Link watched Russell return to Zelda's side, sitting a few stairs up from the entrance to the Cave. As he watched them talk in low voices, Link wondered how they couldn't smell the legion of monsters beneath their feet. He knew that one of the after effects of being a wolf for so long was that his sense of smell had become much keener, but the place positively _reeked_ , and none of the other Hylians seemed to notice. It boggled him, their complete lack of awareness. How could they not know?

Link shook his head and turned to look back out over the mesa, doing his best not to take notice of the shadow that the portal cast over the land. He couldn't be staring mundanely at the portal anymore; he needed to focus. The Moldorms were starting to swarm now, and he needed to keep an eye on them. He tried to ignore the fact that he couldn't stop tapping his foot. There was no reason for him to go kill the creatures; absolutely none. They couldn't get up to the platform, so it was a waste of time. And irresponsible, at that. What if while he was away, something bad happened and he couldn't get back up in time? Nevermind that it would only take him a couple of minutes to deal with the Moldorms, tops. He shouldn't do it.

The soft sounds of the other three members of his party sleeping behind him did nothing to put Link at ease. How could they be sleeping, when he was so full of energy? On some level he knew it was because he was avoiding thinking about what had happened in the Mirror Chamber, avoiding asking the question that had been at the back of his mind since she had left. But he didn't really care. His sword arm felt so light without the weight of the Master Sword in it. Did it always feel this light? He couldn't remember.  What if he just tested it? He didn't need to do anything with the Moldorms; he just needed to feel the reassuring weight of his sword in his hand. He just needed to be reminded that even if he had lost Midna, he hadn't lost his ability to wield a sword.

Unsheathing the Master Sword was a relief. Link grasped the hilt tightly, and slowly swung it around a few times, twirling it this way and that. At least this was something he was good at, whether Midna was around or not. He was good at swinging swords.

But was he still good at hitting things with them? "Stop this," he said to himself. "This is completely self-destructive and unnecessary. Knock it off." Despite his own advice to himself, he didn't. If he was already holding the sword, why not take care of the Moldorms? Just in case. Maybe they had learned to fly, since Midna had left. The world was a crazy place; it could happen. If Midna could leave him without saying goodbye, Moldorms could grow a second head and Link wouldn't be surprised.

A cluster of the foul things were gathering beneath the overhanging mesa, making their annoying little screeching noises. Link gripped the Master Sword a little tighter. He really had no reason to kill him. Really, he didn't. But would it be so bad to do something about them, just in case?

"I shouldn't," Link said to himself, even as he started jumping down the platforms two at a time. "I shouldn't need to use a sword just to feel sane."

But this was too keep Zelda safe, he told himself. This was what he was supposed to do while he was on watch. Keep the group safe from danger. Moldorms were a threat, kind of. He wasn't using this as an excuse to be needlessly violent, not at all.

 _Sure,_ he thought, looking down distastefully at the wriggling mass of enemies.  _Of course I'm not._

"I am the biggest liar," he muttered distastefully as he jumped off the last platform to the Moldorms' level. They let out a collective screech of blood lust before jumping at him, almost all at once.

Even as he slashed and parried and rolled and blocked, Link couldn't help but think about how much easier it was to kill Moldorms as a wolf. A sword was so cumbersome when trying to hit something with such a small surface area. Why waste your time swinging around a piece of metal when you could just jump up and grab them with your teeth? So much quicker, and so much less difficult. Yes, being a wolf was much easier for this particular task. Not that Link cared. He just needed to hit something, to keep Midna off his mind.

But he did wish he could be a wolf, that was the thing. Battling the Moldorms was getting tedious, and every time he felled one of them another seemed to come out of nowhere. If he were a wolf, he'd have been able to deal with them in seconds. But that wasn't an option available to him anymore. Because Midna was gone, and Midna was the only thing that set him apart from everyone else. Without Midna, he was just a farm boy who was really good with a sword. Not a wolf. Not someone who could teleport across Hyrule in a blink of an eye. No, without Midna, Link amounted to a grand total of nothing. He couldn't help but think that everyone would be disappointed when they figured out that he wasn't all the built him up to be.

Eventually, there were no more screeches coming from creatures hidden under the sand. Link passively surveyed the sea of Moldorm corpses around him. He put his sword away; he wasn't feeling jittery anymore. Now he was just tired. Tired of his quest, tired of fighting, tired of the desert, and just plain tired. All at once it hit him that he had been fighting almost nonstop for two years, and all he really wanted to do was go home to his own bed and sleep for a week.

"I should probably clean this up," he said to himself, frowning at the dead Moldorms. "No reason to freak them out with this." Link wasn't even sure where to begin. Normally the bodies were gone by the time he returned to an area. He never really questioned what happened to them.

"Nice going, Link. Way to think things through," he muttered, glancing over to where the horses were tied up by the supplies. They were staring at him. "What are you looking at?" he asked defensively. "This is what I do. This is what I was  _supposed_ to do," he corrected. They whinnied back, and Link knew perfectly well that if he were in wolf form, he'd have been able to understand whatever sarcastic comment they had probably just made. "Judge me all you want, then," Link said, dragging the first of the Moldorms into a pit of sand partially concealed by the mesa above him. "Epona's nicer than the lot of you," he muttered when he was out of their hearing range. "City horses are such gossips."

Cleaning up the mess took thrice as long as it had to create it. By the time he was done concealing his work and wiping the drying blood off his sword, Link thought it was far past time to wake up Russell. Still muttering about what a terrible idea this had been, Link climbed back up the mesa and gently shook Russell awake. "Your watch," he said, before plopping down right above the entrance to the Cave of Ordeals. He looked up at the portal again, and this time he couldn't stop the question from running through his mind, over and over and over and over.

_Why did you do it?  WHY did you do it? Why did you do it, why did you do it, why did you do it, why did you do it why did you do it why did you do it why did you do it why why why why why why WHY MIDNA?_

In a fit of rage, Link sat up so fast his back hurt and felt around inside his pouch for the mirror shard he had taken with him. He told himself that once he found it he was going to throw it as far as he could, let the sand bury it, or the wind whisk it away, like Midna had so clearly wanted it to. But it was taking too long to find, and his rage had almost subsided into worry when something nicked his hand. Probably the mirror shard. Link hissed angrily.

"Why is everything cutting me today?" he grumbled. "This was supposed to be an easy day. A day off. I haven't seen a _single_ enemy besides for the Moldorms today, and somehow I'm _still_ getting beaten up. I bet Midna would've gotten a real kick out of this. Real funny, Midna. Laugh all you want." He pulled out the offending item, ready to throw the shard across the ocean of sand, when he stopped.

"Huh," he said, sucking at his cut finger and staring at the shadow crystal in front of him. He could've sworn Midna had taken it with her. It had never been in his pouch; Midna had always kept it with her. There was no way it could've accidentally wound up with him. No way. "Did you leave this for me?" he asked, looking up at the portal in the sky. He was almost disappointed when he didn't get an answer.

The orange parts of the crystal glistened up at him, in that weird way that things from the Twilight Realm tended to do. The color seemed to be almost alive, moving and glowing and pulsing with no observable pattern. _How the hell do I use this?_ Link wondered. _Midna never even let me touch it, much less taught me how to make it work._

At that moment, Link was tempted. Link was _so_ tempted to say damn it all and try to use it. He didn't care if he ended up stuck as a wolf forever, wandering the desert with no one to keep him company but the Moldorms and the Bokoblins. He was so, so tempted to try it. Because what else was there for him but things that reminded him of the quest? What was he, if he wasn't the Twilight Hero that everyone thought he was? 

He was nothing, that's what he was. A big, fat nothing with no redeeming worth besides being able to round up goats on a farm in the obscure little village of Ordona.

"Link?" Zelda asked, looking up at him from her place on the stairs. "Everything all right?"

The moment passed.  _What else is there?_ Link mocked himself silently.  _You're starting to sound like Midna._

"Everything's fine, Princess," Link said. "Sorry if I woke you."

As Zelda fell back asleep, Link gingerly placed the shadow crystal back inside his pouch. Just because he wasn't going to use it didn't mean he was able to get rid of it. He might've been strong enough to kill Ganondorf, but he didn't have _nearly_ enough willpower to throw away one of the last things he had to remind him of Midna.

_Why did you do it, Midna? Just tell me why!_

 


	3. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link and Zelda make it back to Hyrule Proper, and Link spends one last night in Castle Town before setting out for Kakariko Village to get the Ordon kids and bring them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello-  
> Hope you're all enjoying reading so far. This is the only time I'm going to ask this, but if you like the story, I'd really appreciate hearing from you in the comments or receiving kudos. It really makes my day whenever I can open this and see that people are enjoying it.  
> Also- I know that in the end credits of the game, it shows Link taking the kids back to Ordon Village before he and Midna visit the Mirror, but I've decided to play around with that order a little bit.   
> Thanks for reading! :)

Link woke up before the rest of the party; he was so used to Midna rousing him before the sun was up that waking up early was almost a habit. An unfortunate one, at that, Link thought as he groggily sat up, wiping the sleep from his eyes- he used to enjoy sleeping in on his days off. Now he'd be lucky if he slept until the sun started to rise.

Link nodded to the guard on duty, trodding towards the edge of the platform. Looking out over the sand, he realized that without the Moldorms giving the land the appearance of constantly shifting and without the sound of goblins in the distance, Gerudo Desert could almost be considered serene. He smirked to himself; he knew better than anyone that the Moldorms only stayed a few centimeters under ground at most, and that even when he got rid of one goblin tribe, two more would take its place in a day or two. That was just the way of the desert he supposed, but it didn't stop him from being annoyed about it. Link had a feeling that if he didn't have to be alert every second he was here, he might actually enjoy coming to the desert.

Not that he ever would again. It would be too painful of a reminder of Midna. And even though he would never forget the quest, and what they'd been through, Link already knew that if he ever wanted to move on, he was going to have to do his best to try to forget Midna.

But that was a thought even more unwelcome than thoughts of her, and so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

"Did you boys bring anything to eat?" Link asked the guard. He looked over at Link in surprise.

"Just snacks, mostly. We didn't expect to stay the night," he said, unable to keep the blame out of his voice. Link sighed. Why did no one ever think to plan ahead? Midna always planned ahead.

"Alright," he said, at once happy to have something to do and still a little put out that he was awake when he could've had another few hours of blissful unawareness, "I'll go find us something to eat." The guard gave him a weird look.

"We're in a desert," he said, the  _Are you stupid?_ at the end implied. Link bit back a sarcastic retort.

"I'm aware of that. But," _Unlike SOME people,_ Link thought bitterly, "I know where to find food."

The guard rolled his eyes- Apparently he didn't buy into Link being "The Twilight Hero" as much as everybody else seemed to. "Be back in less than an hour. I don't want to delay after Her Majesty wakes up."

"Sure thing," Link said cheerfully, already getting a running start before hoping off the edge of the mesa. He heard the guard's strangled sound of shock right before he hit the ground, rolled, and broke into a light jog. The desert was surprisingly brisk in the early morning, and he knew from experience that the half-hour right before the sun came up could actually be quite pleasant- and thus, it was the best time for hunting. Most people would think that there was absolutely nothing to eat around here, besides for Moldorms (and the only people who ate those were either really desperate or not about to back down from a dare), but Link knew better. The caves on the outskirts of the desert had a few small animals living in them, and at least two species of edible plants. What exactly they were, he wasn't sure, but Link remembered eating them on his first foray into the desert. They hadn't been half bad. Of course, Midna had been the one to point them out, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to find them again. So he'd probably stick with the animals, rather than risk poisoning Zelda. That definitely wouldn't end well for anyone involved.

About halfway to the caves Link started to become aware of the Shadow Crystal in his pouch. He knew he could cover the distance a lot quicker as a wolf- in fact, he had covered the distance as a wolf, and it was a hell of a lot faster than the time he was making now. But how in Hylia's name did he use it? There wasn't really an instruction manual that came with this sort of thing, and even if he did figure out how to become a wolf, what guarantee did he have that he wouldn't stay that way forever? Without Midna, there was no way of knowing. Link took another panting breath and kept going.

It was becoming increasingly obvious to Link that there was no way he was making it to the caves and back in less than an hour, let alone getting something to eat. Even with the mesa as close as it was to the edge of the desert, it was just too far to go on foot. Link stopped, hunching over for breath.  _Maybe the Princess won't notice if I bring back some Moldorms,_ he thought grumpily to himself. His nose twitched-a bad habit he had picked up from being a wolf so long. With his nose being as sensitive as it was now, even the slightest bit of an unsavory smell and his nose crinkled up out of impulse. And he was definitely smelling something unsavory now- he could tell that right below him, there was a Moldorm nest.

_If I have to bring back Moldorms, at least I know where to find them,_ he thought. He stared wistfully at the sky above him; maybe if the light spirits still liked him, one of them could send a bird his way. It would be child's play to get one with his bow, and then he wouldn't have to offend the Princess- and surely her guards- with asking them to eat Moldorms in place of real food. He supposed he looked like an idiot, staring stupidly at the sky, and eventually he gave up willing a bird to appear and looked away. It was getting light out anyway; probably time to head back. He sighed.

"I don't suppose you'd like to send us something to eat, eh Midna?" Link asked the portal with a slight smile. He shook his head, starting back towards the camp.  _I'm talking to portals in the sky now. Just great. That isn't troublesome at all, what are you talking about?_

He continued to mentally chide himself until a shadow passing over the sand caught his attention. He skidded to a stop and looked up in disbelief; coming towards him was a bird. Hardly believing his luck, Link reached for his bow.

"Wait! WAIT, I say! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" The voice was familiar, and as the bird approached, Link recognized him- it was the parrot from Lake Hylia, the one who always tried to get him to play the game in the Zora River. He smiled wryly.

"What're you doing all the way out here?" he called when the bird was close enough, knowing that he would be recognized. The little parrot might not know that he was also the wolf, his number one customer, but he had been around the area enough times for the bird to know his face. He stopped in front of Link, his small feathered chest huffing for breath.

"Are you Link?" the bird demanded.

"Come on, man, you know that I am. What's up?" he asked. "Seriously, what're you doing in these parts? The climate's a bit different from Lake Hylia."

"A bit? A BIT?" the bird huffed. "Ah, I see, you jest. My apologies. Anyway, I was sent out here to look for you." That caught Link's attention.

"By who?" he asked warily, realizing a bit to late that the reason the bird had started to look uncomfortable all of a sudden was that Link's hand had dropped to his sword. Yet another habit he should probably try to forget once he got back to his life. Or what was left of it, anyway. He supposed Fado had probably hired a new ranch hand in his absence, and certainly everyone else had got on with their lives. But that was a thought for a different time. Probably the ride back, which was sure to be as long as always. Maybe even longer.

"Beats me, some girl. I don't ask questions when that amount of money is involved."

"I'm going to need a little better than 'some girl,'" Link said. The bird squawked at him. 

"Beggars can't be choosers," he quipped. "But if you must know, she was very tall and had a funny robe. And some seriously funky hair, just between you and me." Link's stomach clenched.

"Orange-red hair?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer. The bird nodded, which was more like a full body movement for a creature of his size, and Link forgot how to breathe.

"When?" he asked, not sure if he said it out loud or not.  _Midna?_

"Are you quite alright, there?" the bird ask. "You look like you just got run over by a herd of goats. It was a few days ago, if memory serves. She said that I'd be able to find you somewhere around these parts, and that there was something she wanted me to deliver to you."

"What is it?" Link asked, a little too eagerly. The bird flew back hastily.

"Easy now. If you spook me bad enough, you'll never know."

"Sorry."

"Don't trouble yourself over it. It's just a small package. A hassle to drag all over, if you ask me, so I left it by a group of travelers she said might be with you. They are with you, I hope?" the bird said. Link was barely listening.

"Thank you. Thank you so much," he said, barely aware of the fact that he was already sprinting back in the direction of the mesa until the bird cried out after him "Wait! Mr. Link! Come back!" He didn't stop running.

"Hey, someone dropped off something while you were away. A bird, said he was looking for you. Hey, are you okay? You don't look too good. Did you run into trouble?" the guard asked as Link practically leaped back up the mesa, fumbling with his clawshot to get up the last few ledges, too impatient to climb the rock wall. 

"I'm fine," he huffed, barely able to breathe from how fast he'd been running. How long had it taken him to get back? He didn't know. "The package," Link wheezed. "I need to... see it."

"I'll get it for you," the guard said warily. "Maybe you should sit down for a minute."

"I'm fine," Link said, even though sitting down did sound like heaven at the moment. Instead, he ran to catch up to the guard, who placed it in his hands gingerly. He stared down at it. It was a normal looking package, with the words "FOR LINK" written in neat, swirling penmanship in the middle. _So that's what Midna's handwriting looks like_ , Link thought to himself.  _I wondered._

Suddenly he found himself not wanting to open it. Well, he wanted to open it, more than anything, but he was scared of what he'd find inside. If there was an explanation in there, he wasn't sure if he wanted to read it. Some hero he was. He had the Triforce of Courage and he couldn't even bring himself to open a stupid envelope. Before he could continue to question himself, Link neatly tore the seal at the top off and looked inside.

Crushing disappointment engulfed him like the waves of Lake Hylia. He didn't know what he expected. A letter. A talisman. Something to remember her by. He would've even taken a book on how to operate the Shadow Crystal. Hell, he would've taken a book on how to drink a potion if it had been from Midna. He would've taken anything that he could directly tie to her.

Instead he found five packets of dehydrated food. Not so much as a note. Just five packets of dried whatever-was-in-this-stuff.  _At least she was considerate enough to get something she knew I was okay with eating,_ he thought glumly, involuntarily thinking back on all the times when he and Midna had eaten this stuff when they were in dungeons and other food options were limited.  _She might've left me with no explanation and no idea what to do, but hey, at least she remembers my favorite backpacker's meal._

"Link? Everything okay?" said a tired voice behind him. Zelda came up beside him, yawning. He tried not to think about the fact that she had known this was Midna's plan. Until now, he had been trying to convince himself that maybe she was lying to him for some reason and hadn't known. That maybe this had been a last minute thing she had done, that Midna hadn't been planning to leave ever since they had first met. But now... Midna had sent him food. Not only that, but Midna had sent him food, to the desert, using a literal carrier bird, because she knew he'd be stranded out here with no means of getting back but by foot. This was her plan all along. Link couldn't lie to himself about it any longer.

"Everything's fine," he said, plastering a smile to his face.  _Manners,_ he reminded himself.  _You always smile and tell people everything's fine, even when it isn't. Manners._ "We've been express-mailed some food."

"Really?" Zelda said, peeking inside the envelope. She smiled. "So we have. Someone definitely thought ahead, didn't they?" she said. Link fought not to flinch. Zelda didn't notice, and instead took three of the packets and passed them out between herself and the two guards. The three of them started to eat, and Link closed the envelope. His appetite was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

The group reentered Hyrule Proper a few hours later, meeting a royal escort at the banks of Lake Hylia. As they passed the bird's usual perch, Link tossed him a blue rupee from his pack. The bird squawked happily and nodded at Link. He kept riding.

At some point along the long traverse back up to the main trail (the only way to get out of Lake Hylia by horse or foot was a long and steep path up the side of the gorge, and took almost half a day if you wanted to be careful), Link's pride gave out and he had to nibble on the food Midna had  _soo_ kindly sent. It tasted blander than he remembered.

The castle was just coming into view as the moon reached the top of the sky and was beginning its descent once again. Link was so tired he could've fallen off the horse as the procession crossed over the moat and into the town. There were a few scattered cheers at Zelda and Link's appearance, but it was the middle of the night, with no one around, and soon everything fell silent once again, aside from the sounds from bars across town and the sounds of strays roaming the street.

"Link, you look exhausted," Zelda said. Link was too tired to make a sarcastic remark. Instead, he just nodded. For the first time since his final battle with Ganondorf, real worry crossed her features as she looked at him.

"There are plenty of extra rooms in the castle. You're welcome to stay," she offered. Without meaning to, Link recalled going through the castle to reach Ganondorf- all the monsters trying their best to kill him, all of the times he had almost fallen to his death, and the near-fatal arrow from the goblin that he didn't see. He shuddered. No, Link wasn't about to go there again unless he had to.

"Thanks, but I have somewhere to stay," Link said, briefly wondering if it was impolite to refuse an offer from the Princess even if they were sort-of-kind-of friends, before deciding he was too damn tired to care. Even the few weeks of recovering and rebuilding after killing Ganondorf and before going to the Mirror Chamber hadn't felt like enough of a respite to stop him from feeling like he hadn't had any time since the beginning of the quest. When he had been awake and around, it was all processions and cheering and being paraded around and called the Twilight Hero and asked for help with restoring Hyrule and awarded more medals than he knew what to do with. No, there had been no rest for him since he had been knocked out by the King Bulbin and dragged into the Twilight, and now more than ever it was catching up to him. All Link wanted to do was sleep for a month and then take the kids back to Ordon. And then maybe sleep for another month or two, if he was lucky.

Zelda was still looking at him in concern. "You're sure you're going to be okay?" she asked. Link stifled a laugh.

"No offense, Princess, but I've dealt with a lot worse than walking a few blocks to a hotel," Link said.

"Walk?"

"Well, I'm assuming you want your horse back," he said, and before she could protest (which he knew she would) he slid off the horse and pulled his things from the saddlebag. "Seriously, Your Highness, I'll be fine. I'll just be at Telma's. And I'll check in tomorrow before I leave, I promise."

"You're leaving?" Zelda asked, pulling up her horse, and causing the horses behind her to whiny indignantly and the guards to display quickly concealed looks of annoyance. Someone took the reigns from his horse as he bowed to Zelda. He flashed her a smile.

"I've got to take the village kids back home some time," he said. "Don't worry, I'll be back. There are just a few things I need to take care of."

Zelda pursed her lips, but eventually returned his smile. "I understand," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow. Take care of yourself!" she called as the procession started to move again, and Link couldn't help but feel that her words had more meaning than one.

 

***

 

"Well, if it isn't Link Artemis Dragmire!" Telma called merrily from behind the bar, eliciting a storm of cheers. Link tried not to let the exhaustion show on his face. Zelda had practically drilled it into him to look nice for all his newfound fans. "You're going to be famous and well loved no matter what you do. It is what it is, so you're going to have to live up to being a hero," she had told him primly.

"I don't think that most people realize that being a hero means that all I do is run around swinging my sword at things and roughing it in the uncivilized parts of this country," Link had grumbled, and it had earned him a soft whack over the head with a wad of paperwork. He had smiled.

He was definitely not in the smiling mood now, but he did anyway. It seemed that everywhere he went, everyone knew who he was and what he'd done. He couldn't escape it, couldn't get a moments' peace. It was starting to get on his nerves.

"I wish you'd stop proclaiming my full name to the world," Link said to Telma, sitting down on one of the barstools that a patron had quickly vacated to give him somewhere to sit. She smiled at him.

''What, you don't like people knowing that your middle name is after one of the goddesses?" she said, laughter in her voice. Link couldn't help but smile back. It was sort of contagious, with Telma.

"It's mostly the Dragmire that I don't like," Link said. "Any of the others here?"

"Nah, most of them went back to visit their families before the coronation," Telma said, knowing that he meant the Resistance. They kind of needed a new name now, but that was a task for later. "You will be staying for that, right?"

"I have to take the kids back to Ordon Village first," Link said, "But I'll be back in time."

"You gonna bring Ilia along?" Telma asked with a knowing smile. Link shifted uncomfortably and looked away. He hadn't spent much time with Ilia after she'd gotten back her memories, and he wasn't sure if their dynamic would be different now or not. Plus, it was common knowledge back home that he was pretty much expected to court her and probably marry her one day, and he didn't want that knowledge to be spread across all of Hyrule. Not that he could do much about it; more and more lately details about his life had been surfacing. He kept telling himself that it was just something that came along with the gig; that didn't mean he liked it, though. 

"I'm not sure yet," he said. "I figured she'd want to see her dad a bit, catch up with her friends. I don't want to drag her back down here again. Besides, I don't think she'd like all the attention she'd get, being around me."

Telma laughed. "Quite the gentleman, you are," she said heartily. "But I think you're wrong on one account- I think she'd love the attention."

Link sighed. Telma was right, as usual. "I know. I just haven't thought much about it, that's all."

"Take your time, honey," Telma said. "As far as I'm concerned, you've got a lot of it, now that you don't have to worry about fighting for your life all the time anymore."

"You're a real picker-upper, Telma, you know that?" Link said teasingly. It was almost surprising, how easily Telma could make him feel better. He was still exhausted, but it always seemed to take a back burner when he was talking to her. She just seemed to get it. Link supposed that was a skill you needed to have, as a bar keeper, but he still liked to think of her as a friend. Because he knew that's what she was.

"So I've been told," she hummed. "You need a room for the night? Yours is still all made up." A pang of guilt ran through Link. He hadn't come back the night before, which had probably worried Telma. Plus, since he hadn't used it, she had wasted a perfectly good room for nothing. Link knew that the rooms she kept upstairs were in constant demand, and Link felt bad for not letting it go to good use.

"Yes, thank you. Sorry I didn't tell you I wasn't coming back last night. I thought I was, but then something came up."

"I'm sure that's  _quite_ the story," Telma said. "Was Midna getting up to mischief again?"

"Something like that," Link said, feeling a pang of a different kind. This one he tried not to feel. He wasn't a nostalgic person, and he definitely didn't want to think about Midna. It would only kill the good mood he was just starting to get into.

"Speaking of which, where is that girl?" Telma asked, for once not picking up on Link's signal that he didn't want to talk about something.

"It's a long story, Telma," Link said, and he could see the realization cross her face. "I think I'm going to head up to bed, if that's alright with you. I want to stay and talk, but it's been an unbelievably long day and I really just want to sleep."

"Of course, honey," Telma said, and she was kind enough not to let the sympathy (and most likely pity) show on her face, and considerate enough not to press him for details. "And don't worry about missing out on all the gossip, I understand. I'll see you in the morning," she said, and turned to talk to one of the other customers. Link was too tired to take the stairs two at a time like he normally did, and instead trudged up the stairs, feeling like his legs were getting heavier and heavier with every step. He knew he was just saddle sore and emotionally drained, and he'd also had the long run/sprint this morning, but he still felt like he had just taken on Darbus. The only times he ever felt this tired were after battles, and huge ones at that. He knew he was just being over dramatic, but damn, did he feel like he had done way more than just ride a horse that day.

Link was asleep the minute his head hit the pillow, and his mind was merciful enough not to make him dream. 


	4. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link, Ilia, and the village children finally make it home to Ordon and have a very happy reunion.

The morning that Link left Castle Town was sunny; which was ironic, considering his mood. Zelda was making him take an escort. 

"Zelda, you've got to be kidding me!" he fumed, pacing back and forth in front of her throne. "You think I can't get a bunch of kids across a field?"

"I think you can't ever be too careful," she said, without looking up from whatever the hell she was signing this time. The entire time that they had been talking, a seemingly endless stream of guards and castle officials had been coming up to her, wordlessly handing her things and getting her to read and/or sign them. It gave Link the distinct impression that 1) she didn't care too much about their conversation, and that 2) her mind was already made up, and there was no use trying to talk her out of whatever dumb plans she had about giving him an escort. 

"I've crossed Hyrule Fields before, dozens of times.  _Hundreds_ of times, if not  _thousands!_ I don't need an escort to get me across!"

"You've never done it with a carriage full of helpless kids."

"I've gotten a carriage containing an amnesiac, a dying Zora prince, and a bartender through, while the carriage was on  _fire_ and we were being chased by Kargaroks and Moblins! The fact that you don't think I can manage it when the Fields are empty and it's just a few kids with no fire in sight is more than a little insulting."

"I understand that it's insulting, I just don't care. I know you can handle yourself, and I know that you can handle those kids."

"Then why in Hylia's name are you making me take an escort?" Link exploded. Zelda raised an eyebrow.

"I want the Royal Guard being helpful," she said simply, handing her papers back to the guard standing beside her throne.

"Zelda, I single-handedly saved the Light Realm," Link said, cringing. He hated saying it out loud, but this could be the only argument he had left. "You of all people should know that I can fend for myself."

Zelda sighed. "I know that, Link. But you might've noticed that the Guard isn't in the best of shape right now, and people lost a lot of confidence in our country's defenses during the Crisis."

"Gee, I wonder why," Link grumbled, thinking back on all the guards deserting Telma's bar, and all the other times that they had been largely unhelpful in every way.

"Don't get cute with me, I know the Guard's in a sorry state. I just want everyone to see that they are good for something," she said with a grimace.

"And just what is that?" Link asked sarcastically.

"They've helping the Twilight Hero get some village kids safely back home after they were displaced in the Crisis. It doesn't get much nobler than that, does it?"

"I cannot  _believe_ that you're sending an escort along with me, of all people, for a publicity stunt," Link grumbled.

"Please, Link. Help me out on this. I swear to Hylia, you don't even have to talk to them if you don't want to. In fact, don't even let them lead the party. Just let them drive the carriage or something."

"There was no way in the Sacred Realm that I was going to let them lead me back to my own village. I might not buy into all of this hero stuff, but the day you start trying to have other people boss me around is the day that you and I are going to start having real problems," Link said.

"Thank you," Zelda said, and Link was pretty sure a look of relief crossed her face, but it was gone too quickly for him to be sure. "Have a good trip. You'll be back for the coronation?" Zelda asked hopefully.

"Of course I will," Link said. "I just want to get the kids home before I get swept back up into this craziness again," Link said, gesturing at the surroundings. He didn't even know what to call it, the things he had gotten into by saving the world. "It just felt like a good time to get it done, you know?"

"I understand," Zelda said with a smile. "You should probably get going, if you want to get back to Ordon by nightfall. I'll have the Guard meet you at the gates."

"If you send more than two of them I'm never coming back," Link said, knowing it was an empty threat even as he said it. Zelda smiled.

"I'll keep that in mind. And Link," she said as he turned to go, "The craziness that you're getting swept into? It's the hero business. And it's not going to go away."

"You say that like I'm trying to escape," Link called over his shoulder. "But I just want to get the kids back home, so that everyone stops bugging me about it."  _And because we've all been away for long enough,_ he thought silently as he left the throne room.  _And if I don't get them there soon, maybe it won't feel like home anymore when they get back._

Because if he let himself admit it, that was exactly what he was afraid of. He had returned to Ordon multiple times on his quest, for some reason or another- but when he went back for good, when he went back to just being Link? Not being the Hero of Twilight, or a wolf with a strange little imp on his back, or a man running all across the land to stop something no one knew about until it was gone? Would Ordon still feel like home, after everything?

He didn't know, and it scared him. More than anyone could know.

 

* * *

 

At least these guardsmen were nice, Link thought glumly as Epona's hooves flew over the ground. They didn't complain when he cantered Epona, even though they were pulling a carriage and had to be considerably more careful. One of them had even tried to make small talk, but had stopped when it became evident that Link wasn't interested in talking.

It wasn't that he was an antisocial person as much as he didn't have anything to say at this point in time. Right after defeating Ganondorf, he had been full to the brim with words- he had wanted to talk about what happened, he had wanted to process everything, he had wanted to ask so many questions of so many people, he had wanted to get out everything he couldn't say for the two years he was on his quest. He had never been able to talk about it before, with anyone besides Midna- brining up fighting a giant possessed eel in an underwater temple tended to get you some weird looks. And it was different talking about something while it was happening. But a funny thing had happened when he and Zelda and Midna had gotten back to Castle Town, and all of his words had dried up and died in his throat.

 

_The streets of Castle Town were filled to the brim with people. Sure, Link had known that the residential areas of Castle Town were hidden behind the main walkways, and that there were more people than he regularly saw, but he had no idea that there were this many. It seemed like a sea of people, stretching beyond the horizon- the noise, too, was deafening. He was uncomfortably reminded of fighting Stallord, and the Staltroops that had surrounded him every time he tried to get close to their master, their bones cracking and creaking. The arms reaching towards where he and the two Princesses stood inside a circle of guards didn't help get the image out of his mind. He looked quickly over to Midna- she was smiling and waving at the people, same as Zelda. He was abruptly reminded that both of them had been born into a life of being surrounded by crowds, and handling them; it seemed to occur to Midna at the same time that he wasn't. She smiled reassuringly at him and rested a gentle hand on his shoulder. The flashing images of Stallord and Arbiter's Grounds stopped, and he gratefully focused on just following the Princess of Hyrule back towards the castle, gently weaving her way through the crowd._

_The echoing indoors of the palace helped to calm Link's frayed nerves, and in seconds he was finally feeling the mind numbing fatigue of the battle. Midna eyed him worriedly even as Zelda was telling her guards something about a body in Hyrule Fields and how it needed to be taken care of, and something else, what was she saying? Was he supposed to be paying attention? He was so tired..._

_Link woke up in a hospital room somewhere, with Midna sitting in the chair next to him, watching expectantly._

_"I thought you might wake up soon," she said. "You had us all worried for a while there. You were bleeding pretty badly, and then you passed out in the castle entryway. But you're fine now, no need to worry." He smiled at her._

_"We won," he said. Midna smiled, and it was strange for him, because her smile was the same as a Twili and an imp- yet somehow different at the same time. He decided that he liked both her smiles._

_"Don't sound so surprised," she said playfully, ruffling his hair. "You had me. You didn't have to worry."_

_"I was worried, though," Link said, and without saying anything more both of them knew they were talking about something different now._

_"I know. Sorry about that."_

_"I was going to stop you," Link said, sitting up with a wince. He knew he had at least twelve deep gashes across his chest and abdomen, but he hadn't realized how painful it would be to move for the next few weeks. Midna moved to stop him, but then seemed to think better of it._

_"I know you were. Why do you think I warped you out of there?" she said._

_"You could've let me help."_

_"I didn't want you to get hurt," she said. He glared at her in spite of himself._

_"When has that ever stopped you before?" he asked before he could stop himself. Midna didn't flinch. Funny, Link had always thought she'd flinch when he finally let that slip out._

_"Link Artemis Dragmire, I know you didn't mean that," she said sternly. "I'll have you know that if I could've saved my realm without you, I would've let your furry ass rot in the castle dungeon." It was Link's turn to not flinch, even though he wanted to._

_"I deserved that," Link said, trying (and hopefully succeeding) not to look hurt. "Can we not fight right now?"_

_"I like that idea," Midna said. "I was worried too, Link."_

_"I know," Link said with a pained huff as he tried to re-situate himself. Midna still didn't move to help; she had been with him through enough battles and the subsequent recovery to know that he didn't like to be helped when he was recovering. It made him feel weak, and he hated it. "He had your helmet, Midna. I thought you were dead."_

_"I knew I was going to lose. I warped out to the Fields to warn you, and left the Fused Shadows behind."_

_"But you didn't warn us," Link said. "What happened?"_

_"I'm not sure," Midna said, her brow furrowing. Link frowned; it was weird to see Midna's same expressions stretched out on a different face. He knew it was her- logically, he knew it. He knew she hadn't always been an imp, and he knew she had been a Twili. He just hadn't thought much about what she would look like back in her true form, and Hylia's spirits, she wasn't what he expected. But he didn't want to be caught being rude, and looked away quickly. "I think he revoked the curse on me to buy himself time to get to you first. While the curse was unwinding, I was unconscious, best I can tell."_

_"Is it weird to be... you again?" he said, not sure what to call it. Back in your true form sounded so weird. Midna pursed her lips, thinking. Link tried not to stare._

_"Not yet. I think after a while it will be, but for now, it's a relief." Midna laughed. "I was worried I'd be stuck as a hideous little imp forever."_

_"You weren't hideous," Link said automatically, regretting it the second Midna smirked at him._

_"Since I assume you're a bit dazed and in a lot of pain right now, I'm going to let the implications of that statement slide," she said teasingly. "But it might come up in conversation later. Consider yourself warned."_

_"Thanks for the heads up," Link said dryly. The two of them sat in silence for a while, and he had almost fallen back asleep when Midna spoke again._

_"Do you feel different, now that it's over?" she asked softly. He didn't open his eyes._

_"Do you?" he asked._

_"Yes. But do you?" she said. Link hazily thought back on all the battles, all the hardships, all the painful marks from previous battles fading just to have new ones take their place, all the times he was certain that he was going to die in the middle of nowhere, fighting a hopeless battle. Did he feel different, now that it was over?_

_"Maybe," he said. "I'm not sure yet."_

_"You know, you've never been able to lie to me, Link," Midna said. "But it's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I understand. I'm not ready to talk about it either."_

_Did he want to talk about it? He had been so sure before. But what could he say? He had spent two years of his life certain that before he could stop Zant, he was going to die, painfully and alone. What words could he possibly use to say that? What sentences could he string together to tell people that all the things he had done he did because he felt he had no choice, and every bit of suffering he went through was part of an elaborate puzzle he had very little control of? How do you use letters and syllables to tell people that you spent two years of your life scared every waking minute, and some of your sleeping ones? How do you tell that to anyone at all?_

_"I don't want to talk about it either," he said._

_"Alright. We don't have to talk, then," Midna said, and they sat like that until Link fell asleep._

 

Since then, Link hadn't wanted to talk about his "adventure," as people had an annoying habit of calling it. If the guard had tried to talk about literally  _anything_ else, Link would've played along. Even the weather, he would've made an effort. But when people opened with things like "So what was it like, battling an evil god?" it was kind of hard for Link to get engaged.

Thankfully, they were approaching Kakariko Village. Already Link could see the children waving in the distance and running out to meet them. Beth was in front, smiling broadly, shouting back to the boys every once in a while. Talo and Malo were together, as always, with Talo slowing his pace every time Malo tripped over the terrain or slowed down to catch his breath. Colin was right behind Beth, and Link was happy to see that color was returning to his face. Ever since King Bulbin had captured him, Colin had been paler, but now he was looking healthy once again. Link was relieved, both on Colin's behalf and because he wouldn't have to explain it to his parents.

And behind them, waiting at the entrance to the town with Renado, was Ilia. Ilia, his life long friend, whom even now might not remember everything.  _Oh, Ilia. How are you going to take it when you ask about what I've been through and I can't tell you?_

Beth skidded to a stop right beside Epona as the group crossed over the rock bridge to the solid ground outside of Kakariko. Beth beamed up at him. "Link! You're back!" she said cheerfully, panting for breath. "We didn't think you'd be able to get away from your important Hero-ly duties to come see us!" Even as Link smiled at her, he internally sighed. Of course word had reached Kakariko about the full extent of what he had done during the Crisis. Of  _course_ it had. If he had thought the village children had been obsessed with him before, it was going to be even worse now.

"Hey, Link!" Talo practically shouted. "Are you here to take us home?"

"Hi Link," Colin said softly, skidding up to the group last.

"Hey, Colin," Link said, smiling at the boy-smiling at them all. Yet another thing there weren't words for-how glad he was that they were all okay. They could be a handful at times, and annoying at others (mostly when he was trying to sleep but they wouldn't let him), but he cared about these kids, and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if anything happened to them. Maybe it was a bit overkill of Zelda to send guards along, but for a moment Link was glad to have the extra insurance of their safety. He had come too far for anything to happen to them now. "How are you all doing?" he asked, trying to maneuver Epona around the gaggle of kids.

"We're just dandy, Link," Talo said, answering for everyone. "Are you here on business? Are there still things you need to do to finish saving the world?" For a moment, the children all entertained the possibility, and shivered as one. It broke Link's heart, to see how easily it was for them to slip back into the fear of the Crisis. _That shouldn't happen to children,_ he thought.  _Especially not them._

"Of course not, Talo, everything's safe now," Link said, trying to keep the sorrow out of his voice. "I'm actually here for you kids."

"Hey, who're you calling kids?" Malo, the youngest of the group, huffed. Link fought back the urge to laugh.

"Sorry. I'm actually here to take you perfectly mature adults back to Ordon," he said. "Does that sound alright to you?"

"We get to go home?" Colin said. Talo elbowed him in the side.

"Are you homesick?"

"Cut it out, Talo, we all are. It was just yesterday I found you crying about how you missed your mom, and don't you forget it when you go teasing Colin like that," Beth snapped.

"Sorry," Talo mumbled. "Are you really taking us home, Link? You're not kidding around?"

"Of course I'm taking you home, Talo. What do you think we dragged an entire carriage all the way down here for?" Link asked, smiling as all of the children beamed back up at him. Malo even jumped up and down a few times.

"We get to go ho-ome!" Beth said in a sing-song voice. "We get to go ho-ome!" Soon it became a chant, and the children took off back towards the village. "We're just getting our things, Link!" Colin said. "We might not have brought anything, but we've gotten some stuff we don't want to leave behind!"

Link didn't have a chance to answer before Renado and Ilia were right in front of him. Ilia smiled up at him. "What a pleasant surprise," she said.

"Hey, Ilia," Link greeted her, leaning partially off Epona to hug her before she circumvented him and went to rub Epona's head instead. Link sat back up in the saddle awkwardly and hoped no one else noticed.

"Link. It's good to see you again," Renado acknowledged, walking next to him as they continued towards the village. "I am glad to see that after everything, you continue to be in good health. While I knew that you were involved in all of this to some extent, I was not aware that you are the main reason we are still alive to have this conversation. Allow me to extend my thanks on behalf of everyone, both in Kakariko and beyond."

"It was nothing," Link said, aware of how stupid that sounded and how fake it was even as he said it. Ilia snickered softly, but Link ignored her.

"Nevertheless, you have my gratitude," said Renado. "I am, of course, overjoyed that you are here, as well as that you plan on taking the children home. They miss Ordon, and as much as they like it here, they are children, and they must return to their parents."

"My thoughts exactly," said Link. "I would've gotten around to taking them back sooner, but I was a little tied up." Link had been thinking of all the fanfare of the past weeks, but one look at Renado's face and he knew that the man was thinking of Link's quest. Why did it always come down to his quest with people? "I meant-"

"Oh, of course," Renado said, realizing his mistake. "When do you plan on leaving?" Link shielded his eyes and looked towards the sun. It was around midday; if they left now, they could easily make it home before the people of Ordon even sat down to dinner.

"Soon," Link said. "I could have them home for dinner if we left now, but any time before three-ish would still be acceptable."

"I'd like to be home for dinner," Ilia piped up. "I want to see my father," she added hastily.

"Well I certainly wouldn't want to contradict the wishes of my best friend's daughter," said Renado. "The children don't have much they need to pack. If you can manage to get them in the carriage without having them run off all over the place, you're free to leave whenever you like." Renado looked apologetically up at Link. "I'm sorry I can't see you off, but there's a village meeting that I must be at."

"Don't worry about it," said Link. "I'll be back through here sooner or later. I'll see you then."

"I look forward to that," said Renado as he headed for his house, where a few other villagers were already gathering. "It was good to see you again, Link. Thank you for entrusting me with the children for so long.  It has been a pleasure to get to know them."

"There's no one I'd rather have looking out for them than you," Link said, and they weren't just empty words. He meant it. "I'll see you around." Renado waved goodbye and turned to join the other villagers.

"Well that was abrupt," Ilia commented. She was right, as usual. Link hadn't even noticed until she pointed it out, he was so used to things happening much too fast. He was almost more comfortable that way now. It was a realization that startled him somewhat. The normal pace of everyday life was also something he'd have to readjust to.

"Renado's a busy man," Link said. "I understand."

"You've certainly been busy," Ilia said as the children tumbled back out of Renado's house towards them. They were more eager to get home than Link had thought. "Saving the world and all."

"It's not all it's chocked up to be," Link said with a smile.

"You should tell me about it sometime," Ilia said casually, and didn't seem to notice how Link's expression froze in place. "I'm sure it was quite the adventure."

"Something like that," Link said, and he and Ilia looked on in silence at the fiasco that was the children trying to clamber over each other to get into the carriage and get the seating arrangements that they wanted.

"Do you mind if I ride with you?" Ilia asked, turning away from the chaotic scene unfolding in front of them. "A few hours in close proximity with them can give you quite a headache."

Two years ago Link would've have hesitated. But now he did. Maybe it was what Telma said, that everyone would notice how close he and Ilia were, and that next to no one would understand or accept that they were just good friends. Maybe it was that he didn't want to drag Ilia into the painfully bright limelight; "The Hero Business", as Zelda had called it. Or maybe it was that two years ago Link had accepted that he was going to court and probably marry Ilia one day, but now even thinking of that felt wrong. It felt like a betrayal, but Link wasn't sure to whom.

"Sure thing. Climb on," Link said, and when the noise from the children died down, the group set off.

 

* * *

 

"You have been oddly quiet today," Ilia observed, closing her eyes and leaning back against Link's chest to soak in the sunlight from above. Link used to be comfortable with this, but it'd been so long since he'd had physical contact that wasn't Midna riding around on his back or getting his ass kicked by some monster that it was an odd experience. He tired not to let his discomfort show.

"It's part of my new-found brooding hero allure. Haven't you noticed?" Link said. Ilia elbowed him lightly, and Link tried not to wince at how much that gentle nudge really hurt a still barely-healed gash on his abdomen.

"Okay, brooding hero. We don't have to talk. I can wait to hear your epic story along with the rest of the village, when the kids inevitably force it out of you," Ilia said.

"It won't be the whole village, then, just you and a bunch of eight year olds." 

"First of all, only two of them are eight. Malo's five and Beth's ten. Secondly, of course the whole village is going to hear! If the kids don't pry it out of you, my father's going to hold a bonfire in your honor and you're going to have to tell us. It's only proper; no one knows the details of what you did to save us, only that we all owe you our lives."

"When you say that it makes me sound so grand, but really all I did was swing a sword at a few things," Link said, to cover up the fact that he knew it was true. It was just like the mayor to hold a bonfire for him; not only did the mayor love community bonfires, but eventually people would want the full story. And it was better to tell them first than for them to be reading it in the _Hyrule Harold_. He might not want to talk about it, but he couldn't do that to his friends. If there was going to be a big story-telling, they were going to have to bring in the entire gang of people who had helped him, and Link was just going to have to make his peace with it.

"You always sell yourself short, Link," Ilia said. "Nice to know that that hasn't changed after whatever mysterious things you've done."

"Yeah, yeah," Link said. "You keep trying to get me to tell you stuff, but you're going to hear the gossip when everybody else does."

"Oh goody, I can't wait for me and ten thousand of your closest friends to hear it," Ilia said dryly. It was Link's turn to shove her slightly.

***

Reaching the village happened so quickly. The surreal feeling of returning to the woods he knew like the back of his hand but hadn't seen in he couldn't remember how long, passing his house that contained all his possessions and a bed he hadn't slept in in years, and then going through the passage into the village and seeing everyone emerge from their houses one by one. Seeing the parents running to their children with tears in their eyes, fussing and crying and hugging and talking about how much they've grown and not letting them go. Seeing Ilia jump off Epona and run to her father. Dismounting himself and patting Epona affectionately, wondering what she'd say to him right now if he were a wolf and could understand her words. He was sure she'd have something to say about the ocassion-she always did.

Feeling Rusl's hand come to rest on his shoulder and feeling a sense of pride when his hand didn't automatically go to his sword at the unexpected contact. Maybe it was because some part of him knew that he was home, and that nothing could happen to him here. Not anymore. Rusl's hug was welcome, and for the first time in a long while the crowd of people around him didn't feel claustrophobic. It felt comforting, because this was his family, these were his friends, this was his home. How could he ever think that he wouldn't be home when he came back here? This was Ordon. This was where he belonged.

And finally, _finally_ , Link processed it. Almost a month after Ganondorf had been defeated and a few days after his best friend had disappeared from his life forever, Link finally realized that he wasn't scared anymore.

"It's over," he whispered into Rusl's shoulder. "It's over." And he kept repeating it, over and over, each time feeling better and better. Each time knowing it more and more. Acknowledging it. Feeling it. Healing.

And for the first time in two years, Link wept. Link cried and cried and couldn't stop, but they were happy, giddy, relieved tears. Because after so much time had passed, after so many things had happened, he wasn't scared anymore, and it felt like he was finally alive again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello-  
> So you may have noticed I made up some exclamations and phrases here (Hylia's spirits, no way in the Sacred Realm) I didn't want to use real expressions and I wanted something that had a distinctly Hyrule feel to it, so I hope these are acceptable.  
> I also feel the need to tell you that this isn't the end. There will be more chapters after this-I know this seems happy and very much like an ending, but it's not. There's still a bunch of suffering and pain left to deal with, this is just a temporary reprieve for Link. :)  
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you've enjoyed so far!


	5. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ilia comes over for a visit the day after the return to Ordon Village.

Link's endorphin rush from the night before was only partially gone when he woke up the next morning. If you could call it morning. It was probably closer to lunch than to dawn, and for that Link was glad. It was an indication that maybe someday he'd be able to sleep normally again, and for some reason, that seemed like the best thing in the world to him.

Link was surprised that he hadn't been pestered by the kids yet; apparently they had finally started to listen when the adults told them to leave him alone. It was oddly quiet without them running around his front yard- but a good quiet. Quiet night in Hyrule Fields beneath a sky full of stars quiet, not right before you enter the boss' lair quiet. It was the most peace and alone time he thought he'd had in ages. It was nice.

It was also short lived. After about five minutes of lying there (had beds always been this comfortable? Goddess knew it felt like heaven just to have a bed again,) content to just stare at the light dancing throughout the room, there came a knock from the door.

He briefly considered pretending to still be asleep; then he considered pretending not to be home; then he considered climbing out the window and finding somewhere else to have a lazy day and not be bothered.

"Link? Are you home?" It was Ilia. Of  _course_ it was Ilia- that girl had an annoying habit of knowing exactly when he wanted to be alone, and then making sure that he wasn't. It was equal parts endearing and irritating.

"No," he called back, sleep still making his voice thick. He didn't want to get up. He just wanted one singular day to lay in his bed and do absolutely nothing. Did Ilia know how long it had been since he'd had an opportunity like this?

Apparently not. "Well, are you going to be a gentleman and let me in?" she asked. 

"Coming," he said with a sigh, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and wearily standing up. He noted with satisfaction that it didn't hurt as much to stand anymore. It still hurt  _quite_ a bit, of course, but he didn't wish for death every time he got up too quickly, so that was good.

The ladder down from the platform his bed was on was less kind to his wounds. He was still wincing and rubbing his side when he opened the door for Ilia.

"It's good to see that your sleeping pattern hasn't changed," Ilia commented dryly, stepping past him into the room.  _If only you knew,_ he thought, closing the door and following her in.

He watched her look around. He knew she was noting all the differences that were here since she had last been inside. The decorations were mostly similar- the only new additions were a few pictures Link had of the friends he had made on his quest. It was what was in the room that was surprising her. For one thing, it was cleaner. He wasn't the most organized of people before he and Midna had set out, but he definitely was now. If he hadn't kept his equipment clean and exactly in their places, he had no doubt that he'd be dead right now. He had continued to be orderly after it had all ended, and now all of his equipment was neatly placed in strategic locations (not that Ilia would know that they qualified as strategic,) and the floor was clear of clutter. It must've been quite a shock for Ilia, seeing everything neat for once. 

"What's this do?" Ilia asked, taking his Claw Shots from where they were hanging near the door. Link's hand twitched involuntarily- it was instinct not to let anyone near the tools and weapons that kept him alive. To this day, the only one who had been allowed was Midna, and even that was touch and go for a while. Ilia must've seen it on his face, because she quickly put them back. "Nevermind."

"They let me grab things that're far away," Link said, suddenly feeling the need to prove that he _could_ open up to her, if only a little bit. She smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I can actually use them to pull me to places, too."

"Where'd you find a handy gadget like that?" Ilia asked, and it was clear from her expression she didn't quite believe him about that last part.  _Well, I got the first one from a temple at the bottom of Lake Hylia, which I got to using a magic suit of armor that let me breathe underwater. I fought a giant evil eel there, because I was trying to steal a Fused Shadow from it. What is a Fused Shadow, you ask? Pretty much pure evil put into a physical object. The second one I got from a temple in the sky, with the assistance of the Oocca, a birdlike species that lives in a forgotten city in the clouds. A city I reached using a giant canon that was hidden under Kakariko Village. Where under Kakariko, you ask? It was behind a statue that I moved with a glorified magic stick, which I found in some ruins in the past. That's right, Ilia. Time travel is real, kind of. Crazy, isn't it?_

"It was around," Link said vaguely. "I'll show you how it works sometime."

"I look forward to it," she said, sitting down cross legged on the floor. She smiled up at him, and he couldn't help but smile back. It was something about the way that Ilia smiled- no one could choose _not_ to respond in kind. "So. Nice homecoming," she commented, her happy smile turning into a teasing smirk. Link sighed.

"Why do you always bring stuff like this up?" he asked, shaking his head. He self consciously ran his fingers through his hair, trying to comb it the best he could. He probably looked like crap, and Ilia would probably lord it over him for forever and a day.

"Why do I tease you, you mean?" she asked. "Because you're a hero. You can take it." She shook her head, the smile reappearing. "God, you bawled like a baby."

Link smiled crookedly and tried not to cringe. He wasn't one of those people who thought that if you cried you weren't a "real man" (he had saved the world almost singlehandedly, he was pretty sure he was  _man_ enough no matter what he did, thank you very much), but he was pretty mortified about the display he had put on for the entire village last night. "I know. I'd definitely  prefer if that knowledge didn't make it outside Ordon, though."

"Hey, you don't have to worry about me blabbing," Ilia said, getting up again and wandering here and there, looking at the other items from his quest. Goddesses, could that girl ever sit still? "No one else in Ordon would tell a soul, either, so you don't have to worry about that. Besides, no one can really blame you." She shot a glance at him over her shoulder. "You're not the only one who cried last night, Link. Everyone did."

"I know," Link said. "And I mean no offense when I say this, but the  _Hyrule Harold_ 's not going to care if the entire village is crying, only if I am." 

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Everyone wants to know what Mr. Hero is up to, even though we don't know what we're thanking you for."

"Let's not start in on this again," Link said wearily, half wishing that he had pretended to be asleep until she went away.

"How did people figure out you were a hero, anyway? What happened to tip everyone off that you somehow saved us, but we don't really know how?"

"When people see you standing in front of the Princess of Hyrule fighting against a man who isn't any species we know of and has a sword made from the souls of the damned,  they tend to assume you're doing something heroic, especially after everything that's been happening recently, Ilia!" Link snapped, surprised at the words coming out of his mouth even as he said them. He didn't snap at Ilia. Ever. He might want to, but he never did. She didn't look hurt, though. She looked empathetic, and that made him feel worse.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have pushed," Ilia said. "I have no idea what you've been through, and I shouldn't bug you about it until you're ready."

"Thanks. And sorry I snapped at you."

"Don't worry about it. But Link, if you ever do want to talk about it, I'm here, you know." Ilia looked at him from across his kitchen table, her eyes never wavering from his even as her fingers played with the various things meticulously organized and spread across the surface. "I know I probably won't understand, and I might not be the person you want to tell what you need to say... but I'm here. If you ever want to talk."

"Thank you," Link said, and hoped his tone and his expression could communicate to her everything those two words could not.

"Anytime, Link. That's what friends are for, right?" she said cheerfully. Then her eyes were drawn back to the table. "Hey, this looks neat. Where in the world did you find a rock that looks like this?" Ilia asked. Link glanced down at the table.

"No don't touch that!" he shouted in alarm, trying to reach out to grab her arm before she could touch the Shadow Crystal. If it had the power to turn him into a wolf, what would it do to someone else?

He tried to stop her. But he was too far away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone-  
> Sorry this chapter is short, I just felt bad about not posting for so long and thought this was a good place to end the chapter. More to come soon, I promise.   
> As always, thanks for reading! :)


	6. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link and Ilia get into a fight, and Link is provoked into telling her some gory details about the quest.

"Goddesses, Link, you don't need to scream at me," Ilia said coldly, letting the Shadow Crystal fall out of her hand with a violent clatter. "If you didn't want me to touch it, you could've just told me."

"I did tell you," Link said dumbly, looking at the Crystal. He had just assumed that like everything else from the Twilight Realm, the Crystal would turn Hylians into spirits. But Ilia was still standing there, very very real and not a spirit, seething. 

"Honestly, Link, what is up with you lately? I try to be nice to you, you snap at me. I try to talk with you, you shut it down. I try to be sympathetic, and you freak out about the smallest things. If you don't want me around, you could just say so." 

"I do want you around!" he said desperately, tearing his eyes from the Crystal to her retreating form. "Ilia, you're my best friend!"

"Then start treating me like it!" she snapped. "I get that you've been under a lot of stress lately, but that's no excuse to treat me like-"

"Do you?" Link interrupted. He couldn't help it. Ilia had been bossing him around since they were kids- and he had been fine with it, really, he had. But now? She couldn't order him around; he couldn't stand it. Her treating him like he was still just a little boy that she could get to do whatever she wanted. He wasn't, anymore, and she couldn't go on pretending like nothing had changed, and acting like she was still the most important thing in his world. The most important thing to him was gone forever, and for Ilia to swoop in and expect everything to be the same wasn't just insulting, but lacked all regard for how he felt. Ilia was disregarding his point of view, as usual, and he was tired of it.

"Do you  _really_ understand how much stress I've been under, Ilia?" he continued. "Have _you_ spent two years of your life constantly looking over your shoulder, hunted by creatures that shouldn't exist and forces you don't understand? Have  _you_ killed so many living beings that you've lost count? Have  _you_ ever been so scared you can't think? Have you ever had that feeling and pushed through it, because you knew that if you didn't, everyone you loved would die? Have you ever thought that you were going to die in some desolate corner of the world, and no one would ever know what happened to you? Your friends, your  _family_ would think you had just left, and would never look for you? Never grieve for you, never wonder."

"You know that I have," Ilia said evenly, and her calmness made Link even angrier.

"Not all of those things, Ilia. Not even close," Link said.

"You don't know that."

"I really do," Link said. "You know how I know? Because you were locked in a room for a few months. You were never on a battlefield, you never had some greater part to play in some stupid destiny the goddesses had concocted-" 

"Oh, lose that chip on your shoulder, Link," Ilia snapped. "Just because you went through hell doesn't mean that I didn't, too. I know what it's like to be scared."

Link laughed bitterly. "Not like this, you don't," he said. It was Ilia's turn to laugh, and it was a harsh sound, full of cruelty. Link braced himself for the comment that always came right after that laugh, the one so far across the line you couldn't even tell where you'd stepped over.

"You _sure_ talk about being afraid a lot, for someone who's supposed to be a hero," she said icily. "All this pretending to be damaged, without being able to provide  _any_ proof whatsoever. I'm starting to think that you didn't do anything exceptional at all, and you're just soaking up the credit and the glory until someone notices."

Link always gave Ilia a ten second grace period to regret it. When she did, she apologized. When she didn't, the silence gave him an advantage when they started yelling again. But he always gave her the ten second grace period.

He didn't give it this time.

"Would you like proof?" Link said, and something about the way he said it made Ilia take a step back. Everything was still for a moment, and then she shook her head, once. "I mean it, Ilia. You want proof? I'll give you proof." Before he could second guess himself, he pulled his undershirt off to reveal all the scars he had gotten across the years, criss-crossed across his skin like patchwork. When Ilia gasped, a twisted part of him felt like he had won.

"How's this for proof?" he asked, indicating all the scar tissue, all the thin and thick lines across his chest, all the burn marks, all the puncture wounds, all the places where his blood vessels still looked too red from where poison had hit him, bite marks, bruises still fresh from Beast Ganon throwing him against hard rock walls. "Would you like a run down of where and when I got what?" Link asked, and even as Ilia shook her head, more fiercely this time, Link didn't stop. He was on a roll. In the past, she had always been the one to keep fights going. It was his turn now. "This one, I got fighting the leader of the Goron tribe, Darbus. Really nice guy, actually. It's a shame that he was possessed and covered in flames. He brought a pillar down on top of me. Cracked three ribs, bruised another five. Partially punctured lung. Third degree burns along both of my arms. Took forever to heal, and that was only thanks to-" Midna. Thanks to Midna and whatever magic she could occassionally summon up to make his wounds heal easier, and cleaner. "-A friend. This next one, the circular one with weird protrusions? A ball and chain did that. Went clean through my stomach and small intenstine, massive internal bleeding. I almost died there, too. I think that was the first time that week that I had almost died, which was probably a personal record that month. I actually made it until Monday before almost getting my skull beat in."

"I get it, Link," Ilia said softly. She was on the verge of tears; Link could see her eyes glistening. She was still shaking her head, as if the action could make it all not so. Her eyes traced all the wounds, all the tears and gashes and things that made most people recoil if they looked too closely at his skin. It was strange- Link always assumed that when a girl was going to be looking at him shirtless, it would probably be in appreciation. Ilia was looking at him in horror. Funny, how things turned out. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you."

"You keep saying that, yet you keep doing it," Link snapped, not willing to back down.  _If someone's going to look at my horrible, disfigured body, they're going to look at it, dammit! Ilia doesn't get to turn away, ignore this, pretend it never happened, that she never saw this. She asked for this. She ASKED for it._ "You want me to talk to you? This is me talking. You see this one? One of my favorite stories. We were leaving Castle Town, and on our way to get the third Mirror Shard-"  _Don't think about her, don't think about the Mirror Shard, don't think about it-_ "It was hidden in Faron Woods,but I didn't know exactly where, just the general vicinity. So we went there to nose around, see if we could find something to indicate where we were supposed to go. The problem was, when we got there, we ran into a little problem. His name was Skullkid, and I had a run in with him before, which was particularly unpleasant. But I went through the same fight,  _again._ I was about to win, too. It should've been easy, after everything I've done, and all the experience I have. And then one of his creepy puppet minions caught me from the side, and got me down. Then the other five came over. Have you ever tried to get up when six super powered evil puppets are all kicking and biting and hitting you all at once? It's really hard. I was  _this_ close to dead, Ilia, and I mean _this_ close, and all I could think was "So this is it. I thought this would've happened sooner." And right after that, I thought to myself "I thought I'd have more time." My buddy Skullkid got rid of his minions, and then held his burning lantern to my skin. And my legs were broken, my sword was across the clearing, and I couldn't get up. He burned right through my skin. You could see my lungs through where he had burned up to my rib cage, and partially through the bone. Let me tell you, Ilia, seeing your own bones melting is a really weird experience, and  _excruciatingly_ painful. I lost my voice the next day, because of how loud I screamed. Right as I thought he was going to kill me, Skullkid smiled and said "Come back and play again when you have a chance at winning." And then he vanished, and left me to die in a clearing. Thank Hylia Midna got me out of there and back to Castle Town, but you know what the most memorable part of that story is, Ilia? Any guesses?"

Ilia was silent, and so he said, with a kind of cruel triumph, "It was my  _birthday,_ Ilia. One of the closest scrapes with death that I had, and it was my birthday. How sad is that, huh? And those are only the highlights. I can sit around all day and talk to you about it, if you'd like. Give you some  _proof_ of what I've been through. Where do you want me to start? Right after you got kidnapped? Or right after I got involved?"

"I had no idea," Ilia whispered, tears freely streaking down her cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"I always accept your apologies, Ilia. Always. Never once have I  _not_ forgiven you." Link felt deflated; the white hot rage he had felt moments before, when he was practically screaming at Ilia about his wounds, was completely gone, and now all he felt was emptiness. He missed the anger; it was what had kept him going for two years. Anger and determination. And now that there was nothing for him to be determined about, anger was all he had left. Link pulled his shirt back over his head, wincing as he stretched the recent ones, and turned back to the table, idly putting back everything that had been displaced when Ilia dropped the Crystal. "You never think before you start saying things. Not even for a second do you think about the consequences your actions could have. And I'm done not letting that bother me. It _does_ bother me, Ilia. I know you think I'm just being dramatic, but I _really_ don't want to talk about this again. Probably ever. And the sooner you get it through your head that I'm different now, that I'm going to function differently now, the better it's going to be for both of us."

"Who's Midna?" Ilia asked her voice quavering from tears. Link gripped the edge of the table so hard that his knuckles turned white, and then his fingers, so much that if you only saw his hands, one might think he was a ghost. But he didn't turn around. "You said 'Thank Hylia Midna got me out of there.' And a while before that, you used 'we' instead of 'I.' So who's Midna?"

"Goddesses above, Ilia, don't you learn anything?" Link said, the words exploding out of him with such a force that Link was surprised the earth didn't shake. "I just told you, I  _just told you_ that I don't want to talk about this, that I probably never want to talk about this! And what do you do? You ask another question! I mean  _Hylia,_ Ilia, I  _just_ told you!" Ilia started to say something, but Link cut her off. He was finished with this conversation, and more than likely, finished with her. "Get out of my house. Please."

There was a moment of silence before Link heard her soft footsteps, the creaking of the door, and then her feet clanking down the ladder to the ground. And then Ilia was gone.

"So much for having a nice, peaceful morning," Link said, trying not to think about how much he was probably going to regret scaring Ilia like that a few hours from now. In fact, Link tried not to think about anything at all.

From across the room, Link could see the Shadow Crystal, the orange designs glinting in the light.

Link thought that his life would probably be a whole lot easier if he had just thrown the accursed thing into the desert sands, like Midna had with the Mirror of Twilight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends-  
> Double update today! I know, so exciting. Well, for me, at least. Hopefully for you, too, but I don't want to sound narcissistic by assuming. :)  
> Sorry these past few chapters have been so short- they will get longer again, I promise. I just liked where they ended, and didn't want to make them larger just for the heck of it. I hope that's okay with you. :)  
> Anyways, hope you're all enjoying this so far, and as always, thanks for reading!
> 
> PS: Are you guys liking this so far? I would really enjoy hearing your thoughts on the story. Hearing from you really does make my day, no matter how silly that sounds.


	7. Reminisce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link returns to Castle Town, where he meets up with an old friend; and after talking for a while about everything that has and is happening, the topic of Midna is finally breached.

 

"Well you sure booked it back here," Shad noted, inclining his glass to Link from where he sat at the bar. Link was happy that the smattering of applause was lighter this time than last time he had been in Telma's bar (probably due to the late hour, but Link would take what he could get,) and he was even happier to see Shad. The man had been helping Zelda's royal mages ever since the end of the Crisis, and the two hadn't had much time to talk.

"You're one to talk," Link said with a grin, sitting down beside Shad. "I thought you were still out doing things on the border."

"Nah, I got back the day you left. Goddesses, Link, you look absolutely terrible," Shad said, looking him over.

"Thanks," Link replied dryly, even though he knew it was true. After a few hours of sitting around his house stewing, he couldn't take it anymore. He had originally planned on going to the village, but then he would have to talk to the villagers and he couldn't do that just then, especially since Ilia might've told people about their fight. And then he wanted to go to the ranch and help out, but realized that he'd be able to smell the rats from the Hidden Grotto below, and that would put him on edge.

"So instead you just came back to good old Castle Town, eh?" Shad said, his voice full of humor. Link realized with a jolt that he had been talking out loud. He hadn't accidentally talked out loud since the quest. He supposed this was improvement, after the past few weeks. 

Either that or he was always going to be his old self, but only around people who had helped him or been with him on his quest. That was a troubling thought.

"Something like that," Link said, not wanting to think about what in the Sacred Realm was going on in his psyche. 

"And where's my favorite girl, Ilia?" Telma said cheerfully, setting down a drink in front of Link as she came over to socialize. Link raised an eyebrow at her.

"This is alcohol, Telma," he stated, his voice full of laughter.

"Oh really, I thought that was milk," Telma hummed, wiping down the counter from where a few customers had just left. 

"I'm underage, Telma," Link said, using the same teasing voice. After the long, hard ride here, it felt good to be around friends. Just like old times. Just like before Midna-

 _DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!_ his mind screamed.  _Don't think about it and it won't be true._

"You saved the world, Link Dragmire, I think you can break a few rules."

"I think Hylian law might have something to say about that sentiment," said Shad in amusement, taking a drink and watching the two of them over the rim of his cup.

"Who's tellin' Hylian law enforcement?" Telma said. "Lighten up, kiddo. Enjoy yourself," Telma said, before going to refill some of her customer's beverages.

Shad looked around. "She had a point, though. Where is Ilia? I assumed you'd be bringing her for the coronation. I thought she'd love something like that."

Link looked away. "She would," he said. "We... haven't been getting along of late."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Shad said, with genuine sympathy in his voice. That was one of the nice things about Shad. He didn't say things he didn't mean, and he didn't fake anything for anyone.

"It is what it is," Link sighed. He caught himself looking at the table where the Resistance had gathered during the Crisis. It looked different now, without everyone sitting around it. The map that had been the centerpiece of the table for two years was now rolled up and tucked into a drawer, and the table itself was roped off behind a sign that read "RESERVED".

"Do you ever miss it?" Shad said, his thoughts in the same place as Link's.

 _Of course._ "It's funny, for two years part of what kept me going was that this would be over one day," Link said. 

"That's a yes, then," Shad said.

"Yeah," Link said, then looked over at his friend. "I mean, there are parts of it I miss."

"Such as?"

"Our friends, for one thing. We all helped each other, saved each other. Now you're Head Royal Mage, Ashei's helping to shape up the Royal Guard and there's talk of making her an ambassador, and Auru's helping restore Gerudo province and repair relationships with the other species' in Hyrule. And I don't even know what I'm going to do."

"Things will settle down," Shad said. "They always do. Rebuilding just throws everything into chaos for a while."

"But things will never be the way they were again," Link said. "And I know things were very, very far from perfect, and that everything was going wrong, but it wasn't all so bad, was it?"Link looked to his friend, suddenly desperate for someone to agree with him. For someone to acknowledge that they were feeling this, too.

"No," Shad said, shaking his head. "They can't."

"I miss it," Link said, softer now. Shad leaned towards him, barely able to hear him above the other patrons of the bar. "I miss  _doing_ something. Doing something  _important._ I miss everyone banding together to fight for a common cause. I miss people being kind because we all had to stick together. I miss the stars in the night sky from the turrets of the Bridge of Eldin. I don't miss the danger, or the fear, or the perpetual scrapes with death. But I miss doing something that actually  _mattered,_ you know?" Link said. "I miss that. Now it feels like everything I do is inconsequential, compared to what I've already done."

"Strange, isn't it?" Shad said. Link looked at him curiously.

"What?" 

"I know I can't take any of the credit for saving the world, because that all falls to you. But I'd like to think a helped some-"

"You helped a lot more than 'some,' Shad, you don't have to be so modest," Link said. The Resistance had helped him more times than he could count, and without Shad and the others he would be dead dozens of times over.

"Yes, well. Like you said. We were all fighting together, fighting for something. But it's over now, and doing the things we thought were important before just don't seem the same anymore."

"I used to be a ranch hand," Link said. "It feels weird to go back to that now. After having starred down a god and a usurper king from another dimension, rounding twenty goats into a barn just isn't as satisfying."

"I just want to help more," Shad said. "I feel useless now, coming back from something as important as what we did. How can anything ever be as important as that?"

"At least you have something to do," Link said miserably. "Something you're needed for. I just get people across fields and argue with my friends."

"There's something a little different about the way you use fighting magic and the way you use magic for repairs," Shad said thoughtfully. "Everything seems mind-dullingly boring after flinging twenty spells at once like it's nothing."

"You two are just adrenaline junkies, is what you are," Telma said, startling them both. Neither of them had noticed her standing there. "Fighting so long, you learned to love it, and now nothing can compare."

"Is that so bad?" Link asked, taking a sip of the drink that she had given him. It was good. Telma's bar wasn't popular for nothing.

"No. But you're just going to have to get used to the fact that that's the only war you're ever going to fight in. Now you're gonna have to find something else that makes you feel like that."

"And what activity do you suggest to fulfill  _that_ purpose?" Shad said snappily. Telma laughed heartily.

"I'm no expert on these things. Guess you'll just have to find something for yourself," Telma said.

"Hey, we could start an extermination business," Link said. Shad looked at him in interest.

"Really? And just what would we do?" he asked, smiling.

"Well, you're good with magic, I'm good with slingshots and bows. Insect hives? We can knock 'em down. Keese in your attic? We'll get rid of them. Goblins took your stuff while you were out of town? We'll get it back."

"You should put that in the  _Hyrule Harold,_ that's a good ad," Telma said with a laugh. "You could have a great marketing career ahead of you, Link Dragmire."

"I'll keep that in mind," Link said wryly.

"Any other bright ideas, hero boy?" Shad asked. The Resistance had taken to calling him that after they had realized the full extent to which he was involved in everything, and it had stuck. It was still funny to hear it from Shad, though; Shad was only a couple of months older than him, after all.

"Midna used to say we should start a moving business, what with the portals and all," Link said, eyes twinkling as he thought back on her sarcastic comments on the subject.

* * *

 

_"You can bring the stuff out, and I'll teleport it." They were riding across Hyrule Fields. The sun was setting, and it was dark enough for Midna to come out of his shadow and talk to him face to face, rather than exchange their banter through shadow. She was in one of her talkative moods. Link listened on with a smile._

_"What if there's not a portal where they want to move to?" he asked. Midna looked at him as if the answer should be obvious._

_"You'll just have to carry it a bit farther, then."_

_"Why not you?"_

_"Because I'm tiny, dummy. I can't carry anything."_

_"I have seen you send a hundred-ton bridge through a portal, Midna. You can carry things."_

_"All right, fine, but it would freak people out. So you should carry it."_

_"You don't think the portals will freak them out more?"_

_"I don't know, people have been pretty calm about them so far."_

_"Midna, there are articles in papers all across Hyrule about what the 'creepy portals in the sky' could mean."_

_"Was that a direct quote?"_

_"Yep."_

_"You Hylians are so dramatic," she had giggled._

_"I think you don't want to carry anything because you're lazy," Link said with a smile. Midna gasped, mock offended._

_"Me? Lazy? Never! I'll have you know that I've been a vital part of this quest!"_

_"Yeah? What exactly was your major role?" he asked, snickering at her look of indignation._

_"I did lots of things!"_

_"I did all the fighting and problem solving and getting things and-"_

_"I told you what to fight! I told you what to get!" Midna cried._

_"Lazy, lazy, lazy," Link chanted. Midna whapped him softly with her hair, a smile on her face, her impish giggle ringing out as he tried to one-handedly swat her away._

_"Take it back! Take it back!" she screeched._

_"Play a bigger part in our moving business and I will," Link said. Midna sighed, floating over to sit in front of him on the saddle again._

_"Fine," she said, making the one syllable sound like two, and dragging it out like it was the most painful thing in the world to say. "I will help with_ some  _of the heavy lifting. But only some."_

_"Good enough for me," Link said with a smile. Midna stuck her tongue out at him._

_"You're so hard to please," she said._

* * *

"I guess that's probably not so realistic anymore, seeing as how I don't know how to control the portals and I can't really ask her," Link said, his smile fading.

"I heard about that. I'm so sorry," Shad said. Link shrugged.

"It was her choice. Probably the right one. But I wish she would've told me about it beforehand, you know?" Shad didn't speak, and just waited for Link to continue. Shad had the uncanny ability of always being able to tell when people weren't done talking.

"She didn't even say goodbye," Link said, but realized even as the fact beat through him like a wound, that even though it was painful, it did not make him shatter like he feared it would. He had just assumed that not thinking about it would make it easier. But maybe, he thought, maybe it would make it worse. "She didn't even-" he stopped again. 

"She said see you later," he finally said. He couldn't help but see where Midna had always sat, perched on the edge of the table, on the rare occasion that the Resistance had actually done things other than prepare for things ahead. Couldn't help but remember her laugh, the same yet different in both her imp and true forms. Couldn't help but remember that she had left him. And that it hurt, but maybe that was the biggest indication he had that he wasn't completely broken. Not yet. "Even though she knew she wouldn't."

"She was the Queen," Shad said, and something about his tone made Link look up. That sounded....

"That sounds suspiciously like your thinking tone," Link said, eyeing his friend warily. Shad didn't always share when he got scheming, and Link wanted to make sure that if Shad had gears turning in his head, he would tell him.

"I just think that it would be silly, for the goddesses to leave just one portal. I mean, kind of redundant, isn't it?" Shad said. "Why have one? If you wanted to seal them away forever, why leave any portal? And why would you condemn all the descendants of the original Twili? The goddesses are supposed to be forgiving, and what good does it do to punish people for the mistakes of people they're barely even related to?"

"They left the one for prisoners," Link said. "To send bad people through."

"Yeah, but they gave us that control, didn't they?" Shad said. "Why not give us more?"

"Probably don't trust us," Link said. 

"Probably not," Shad agreed. "But if you don't mind, Link, I'm going to dig into it. It's been bothering me for a while, and I'm probably just over thinking this. But, what you said just now- she said "see you later?" Correct me if I'm wrong, but Midna doesn't usually say things she doesn't mean, or doesn't have a use for."

"She had a use for it. She didn't want me to suspect," Link said. Shad pursed his lips.

"Maybe," he said. "But I'm going to look into it, just the same."

"Okay," Link said, a smile returning to his face. Once Shad made up his mind, his mind was made up. That was that, and there was absolutely no changing it. All you could do was sit back and hope for a good show.

The next morning, when Link came down from his rented room, Shad was sitting at the Resistance's table, reading a book from the Royal Library. Link took care not to disturb him, and instead slipped out into the brisk morning. Link didn't think anything would come of Shad's research- but all the same, he wasn't about to take any chances.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello-  
> I did the whole thing with inventing phrases again (What in the Sacred Realm). I hope you don't mind. I quite like it.   
> Also- You may have noticed that I referenced a bunch of times where the Resistance saved his life that weren't actually in the game. I always thought that there had to be more to the game than just what the player saw (which you can probably see through the details I have put in past chapters); this is one of the things I think had to have happened, and we just didn't see.   
> So when the characters are talking about how the Resistance saved his life a bunch, and knew about Midna, and they were friends and such, that's what I'm referring to. :)  
> As always, hope you liked the chapter, and thanks for reading!


	8. Coronation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link attends Zelda's coronation, and talks with Ashei afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone-  
> Sorry I haven't posted in a few months. Things got really busy with school and standardized testing and the like. Here's the next chapter; I'm sorry it's late, and I hope you all enjoy it!

  


Zelda's coronation was held in the gardens, with the castle behind her. The reconstruction was coming along nicely; despite all the damage that his battle with Ganondorf had caused, workers were quickly mending it. The clearly visible building materials stacked against the turrets and the skeletons of new additions to the structure seemed very symbolic of the occasion to Link. Zelda had insisted that Link be behind her during the coronation, as royal recognition of all that he had done for the country and the world. 

Despite Link's protests (he would've been much happier watching from the anonymity of the audience), Zelda had insisted, and there's not much you can do when the Princess/Soon-To-Be Queen of your country asks you to do something. So Link watched the ceremony, and tried desperately not to think about the fact that Zelda was wearing the same dress as when she had been possessed by Ganon. He suppressed the shudder that wracked his body at the thought. It wouldn't look good for the Twilight Hero to look uncomfortable at the Queen's coronation, Link thought bitterly. 

Ashei stood right next to him, which brought him some semblance of comfort. Ashei was the most skilled fighter of the Resistance, and it didn't surprise him that she had been made the new Captain of the Royal Guard upon Zelda's return from the Mirror. Link felt a bit bad for Ashei; he had seen the dirty looks the previous captain had given her in passing, and he knew she was going to have a rough time earning his respect. Not that she needed it; Ashei had the respect of everyone else in a fifty mile radius. Still- it didn't seem fair to Link that just because she had gotten his job she should automatically be hated for it. 

The new Queen was too busy at the banquet in her honor that evening to talk to him until they sat down for dinner. Link had been given the place of honor at her side; Ashei was dutifully standing behind them. Every time Zelda would turn away to talk to someone else who came up to talk, Ashei would whisper sarcastic comments in his ear. Because he was so used to her witty banter all evening, when she asked "How's Ilia doing?" It caught him off guard. 

"We got in a fight," he admitted. "She thinks I'm acting differently, and being weird about things I shouldn't be." 

"She tried to touch your gear, didn't she?" Ashei said knowingly. She had once made the same mistake; unlike Ilia, however, she didn't fault him for it. Ashei had always shared a special bond with Link; they understood each other, each of them being nitpickey soldiers, and unlikely ones at that. 

"Yeah. What actually started the fight was-" Link was cut off when Zelda turned to face him again, and he tried not to flinch when his imagination made him see Ganon's eyes instead of hers. If the Princess (Queen, Link reminded himself, she's the Queen now) noticed his sudden stiffness, she didn't comment.

"Are you enjoying the party?" she asked. 

"Yes," Link said politely.

"You sound like someone's holding a sword to your throat to make you say that," Zelda said with a smirk. 

"Don't be ridiculous. You wouldn't hold a sword to someone's throat to threaten them, a dagger would work much better," Link said. Zelda's smirk turned into a smile.

"You don't have to lie to me," Zelda said mildly, taking another dainty bite of her food. Link wondered idly if members of the royal family were taught as children how to be quaint in everything they did. Looking at the way Zelda behaved, it wouldn't surprise Link. "I know that you hate this aspect of being in the public eye." 

"What do you mean, this aspect? I hate every aspect," Link said. Zelda laughed. 

"I know," she said. "At least there's good food here, right?" Link couldn't argue with that. "Listen, I don't think it's a good idea to get into this now," Zelda said, "But at some point you and I need to have a conversation about what you're role in Hyrule is going to be like after this." 

"What if we got into it never?" Link said. "I just want to go home and be a ranch hand again. Live very, very far away from any sign of danger." Zelda frowned at him.

"Don't play games Link, we both know that's not true," Zelda said. "I understand that you probably need a break. Next time you're in town, I'd like to speak with you again."

"Why not just wait until tomorrow?" 

"You need some time to think, and so do I," Zelda said. "Come on, Link, you don't think I've noticed how you've been moping around these past few days? I know something's been bothering you, and to have a conversation now would probably end disastrously for both of us. Come back to see me in a month or so, and we'll talk then," Zelda said, and turned to greet another well wisher who had come to their end of the table. Link stared at her back for a moment, tempted to say something more, but eventually he turned away, shaking his head in defeat. The Queen was really very stubborn, when she put her mind to it. She also knew what she wanted, and wouldn't let anyone interfere with her plans.  _At least one of us knows what we want from life after the Crisis,_ Link thought. Before the Crisis, Link would've said he'd always know what he needed from life, no matter what happened. He didn't know much about Zelda back then, but he would've guessed that  _she_ would be the one freaking out in the aftermath of the Twilight Realm crashing into their own. Hylia, was he wrong.

"She really will make a green Queen, won't she?" Ashei commented. Link started; he had forgotten she was there. "Already knows when to talk to people, and when to leave them alone. What were you saying, about Ilia?" Ashei prompted. 

"Nothing. Don't worry about it," Link said. Ashei raised a skeptical eyebrow. 

"Come on, Link, don't be like that. I don't know Ilia very well, but I know you two are close. What happened? What was bad enough for you to run away in the middle of the night?" Ashei shrugged at the look he gave her. "What? Shad told me the details. Don't be mad at him, you know how bad he is at keeping secrets." 

"And yet, we've made him First Royal Mage," Link muttered. Ashei nudged him playfully.

"You know what I mean. Seriously, Link. What happened?" Link sighed. He knew from experience that it was no use to try to keep things from Ashei. 

"You know the Shadow Crystal that Midna had?" Link said. 

"The one that turned you into a wolf?" Ashei asked. "Yeah, I know it."

"Well, she left it behind. And-" 

"Let me guess. You've grown too attached to it, Ilia tried to touch it, and you flipped out?" Ashei guessed. Link glared at her.

"Are you going to let me tell the story?" he asked irritably. 

"Sorry." 

"...What you said, that's part of it," Link said. Ashei smirked. "But it's something from the Twilight Realm. I'm the exception; I turn into a wolf when I come in contact with Twilight objects."  _At least, I used to._ "Most Hylians turn to spirits. How was I supposed to react to her trying to touch it? If she had turned into a spirit, I wouldn't know the first thing about turning her back. Then it would've been two people who are important to me that I've lost in a month, not just one," he said.

Ashei had never been one to pity him. She was one of the select few who knew what he had been through, but never, not once, had she ever felt sorry for him. Even now, she didn't, and that helped Link more than anything else she could do.

"I don't blame you," Ashei said slowly. "It's a logical reaction. But of course she's going to think you're acting weird, Link, she didn't get to see you change during the Crisis. She didn't see the gradual shift. When she got taken by King Bulbin, you were one way. Now she sees you again, and bam, you're completely different. You can't blame her for getting whiplash," Ashei said. 

"No, but she could at least try to understand before losing it," Link muttered. 

"Yeah, but she's not one to keep her cool, is she?" Ashei said. "Are you two going to be okay?" she asked after a while.

"I don't know," Link admitted. "I don't know how we can go back to our old dynamic when we've both changed so much."

"That's understandable," Ashei agreed. "But do you want to create a different dynamic?" 

"I don't know," Link said. "I don't know what I want. I was able to ignore it for the longest time, after I killed Ganondorf. During reconstruction, with all the helping out and the publicity, with all the people to catch up with and all the things to do, I could pretend I didn't feel it, always lurking in the back of my mind. But now Midna's gone forever, and there's no way I can ever see her again,  and I can't pretend anymore that I have any idea what I want," Link said. He felt a stinging at the back of his eyes, but he refused to cry. Not here, not now, not ever. He would not cry over Midna. He would  _not._ He had misjudged their friendship, she had left him without a backwards glance, and it was over. He wouldn't cry about it. He would  _not._

"I think you'll figure it out," Ashei said quietly. "You always do."

"I hate it," Link said. "I hate not knowing. During the Crisis, all I wanted was for things to go back to normal. But things are back to normal now, and I hate it. I can't just be the ranch hand anymore, but I have no idea what else I would do."

"Come work for me," Ashei said. "Hell, come work  _with_ me. You can have my job. You could have the guy  _above me's_ job. If you can't live without the adrenaline rush anymore, come work for the guard."

"The difference between fighting a cursed Stalfos and doing border control would astound you," Link said dryly.

"It really wouldn't, and you know it," Ashei said. "But I've made my peace with it. I don't know what you want, Link, but I'm offering you this. If you want, you're always welcome here. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Link said with a sigh. "Yeah, I know. I don't know how I'd live without you guys," he said.

"You'd manage," Ashei said. "Listen, Hero Boy, I can't imagine what you've been through, and I was even there for some of it. And I know everything sucks right now, because Midna meant more to you than your own life, but it'll get better. One day you're going to wake up and realize that even though it still hurts like a son of a wolfo, you can deal with it. I don't know when that day'll come, but it will, trust me."

"Thanks, Ashei," Link said. He fought to ignore the small voice inside of him that said  _But you do know what you want. You want Midna back. The reason you don't know what else you want is because you_ don't _want anything else. You just want Midna back._

_You just want Midna back._

The voice in Link's brain continued to mock him until he left Castle Town the next day; it continued to mock him as he rode across Hyrule Fields; it continued to mock him as he stopped by Kakariko to say hello to his friends there, and to have a wrestling match with the Gorons; and it continued to mock him as he sat in his house, staring at the Shadow Crystal on the table in front of him.

_You just want Midna back._   


_You just want Midna back._

"I want Midna back," Link whispered, and because it was night and it was quiet and the only wolf in the area to hear was himself, he could almost pretend that his shadow was listening, and taking his request into consideration.


	9. Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link has a troubling dream, and makes a questionable decision.

Link had been back in Ordon Village for a week, but hadn't talked to a single person. He didn't know if anyone had figured out he was back, or if Ilia had told anyone about their fight, but Link did not intend to find out. Instead, he kept to himself. Read a few books from his shelves, experimented around with some cooking materials. Tried his hand at drawing (again), and only did marginally better than the last time he had attempted the skill two years ago. Cleaned up his basement. Kept only his sword, shield, and bow up on the main floor and put all his other gear in a secure chest in the basement. Tried to put the Shadow Crystal with the rest of the things from his journey, but didn't have the willpower and instead left it out on his counter. Why, he had no idea. It wasn't like he was dumb enough to touch it. Maybe he felt closer to Midna this way. He didn't know. 

Every once in a while he crept into Faron to go hunting; he refused to go to the store for food, and he was used to having to find his own food, after two years questing. It was peaceful, for the most part. A welcome break from everyone wanting something from him. 

Yes, it was very peaceful. Until Link had the dream.

"You really have been losing it, haven't you?" she said. Link looked up from the book he was reading. Had he just imagined the voice? It seemed so real.

"Yes, I'm talking to you, dummy. And it's taking a lot of energy, so I hope you're paying attention," she said. Link could almost imagine the smirk that would accompany the words. That time he knew he hadn't imagined it. Link stood up, knocking his chair down in his haste. The impish laugh echoed around the room.

"Easy there, wolfie. Wouldn't want to make a mess." Again with the impish laughter he never thought he'd hear again. 

"Midna?" he whispered. Then, louder, "Midna!"

"You don't need to shout, Link, I'm right here," she said, and when he turned around he could see her. Not Imp her, but real her. 

Link didn't know what to do. He considered hugging her, or saying he was glad to see her. What do you do when someone you care about just suddenly appears in your house?  _Midna's back_ , he thought, and the brief moment of overwhelming joy was brought down by what she had done.

"You left me," he said, before he even knew he was saying it. "I can't believe you'd do that."

"Link, I have a world to run. Did you really think I could stay with you forever?" she asked gently.

"You didn't have to break the Mirror. And don't you dare tell me it was the safest option, because you didn't have to. And you know it," Link said. Midna pursed her lips.

"No, I suppose not," she said finally. "But it's the best insurance policy I have."

"Against what?"

"There are a great many things in your world that I don't want coming to mine, Link," she said, absently examining the contents of his house. Link wanted to shout at her. If she was going to be here, she should be talking to him, not studying his cooking ware!

"I suppose that includes me, doesn't it?" Link said, not bothering to keep the biting tone out of his voice. Midna shot him a sharp look. 

"No, Link, I wouldn't extend that description to you," Midna said.

"I would've come with you if you'd asked," Link said. Midna sighed and cast him a weary smile.

"I know you would've. That's the problem. Even if you had come along, Link, I still would've destroyed the Mirror. While we might be friends, it wouldn't be right of me to tear you away from your life and everyone else you care about."

"You could've asked me," Link repeated. "I think my opinion might've mattered somewhat."

Midna sighed in frustration. "Link, I adore you, but you don't belong in my world, just like I don't belong in yours. Taking you away from your world wasn't an option, just like my staying in yours wasn't."

"Then why are you here talking to me?" Link demanded. "And what makes you think that after what you've done, I want to see you?" Link hadn't meant to say it, but when he saw how much the comment hurt Midna, he felt a perverse twinge of satisfaction. _Good. She should be sorry, after everything she's done._

"I wanted to see if you were doing okay. I knew it would be hard on you," Midna said. "I would've told you beforehand, but I was worried you'd follow me."

"I would have," Link said immediately. Midna's smile was tired.

"I know, Hero Boy. That's why I kept it from you. But I appreciate the thought, nonetheless."

"I can't believe you left without saying goodbye," Link said. 

"Can we not talk about something happier? I only have so long," Midna said. 

That's when Link realized it was a dream. He didn't remember falling asleep, but it made more sense than the blind assumption that she'd just popped back onto his plane of existence with no explanation.

"Yes, you're asleep," Midna said, seeing the realization in his face. "It's the only way I can see you."

"I'm just dreaming you up, then," Link said, not sitting down as much as letting his legs give out.

"If that's what you'd like to believe," Midna said with an even tone. He couldn't read her expression; he always used to be able to read her expression. Maybe it was because she wasn't an imp anymore. Only one of many things that had changed between them during the quest.

"I cannot  _believe_ that I got my hopes up only to have it be a dream," Link muttered to himself. He paid no mind to Midna's smirk of amusement. If she wasn't real, then what was the point of playing a part for her? The real Midna wouldn't know, because the real Midna left him to go back to the Twilight Realm and there was no way back, even in dreams. He should've known that she wouldn't just show up. How could he have been so stupid?

"You've missed me, then?" Midna asked.

"I'm not going to humor my dream projection of you," Link snapped. Midna's impish laugh sounded throughout the room, and the sound which normally made him feel better only served to sour his mood further.

"Come on, Link, I told you I'd see you later. Shouldn't you know by now that I don't make promises I can't keep?"

"Just because you're a Twili doesn't mean you can do impossible things, Midna, you said it yourself," Link snapped. "Remember? We were in Arbiter's Grounds, and I asked you to just warp us up a collapsed flight of stairs, and you said you can't do impossible things. Are the rules different now, because it doesn't involve me?"

"No need to be mean, Link," Midna said primly, and her calm made him want to scream. "Believe what you want. And if you're going to be difficult, I'll just leave. Goddesses know that it takes excruciating effort just to be here."

"You want to leave again? Be my guest. I don't care anymore," Link said. 

"Suit yourself," Midna said. "It was good to see you, Link," she said, gathering her skirt and standing up. "I'm glad you're doing well."

"I'm doing anything but well, and you can see that just as much as anyone else."

"Better than anyone else," Midna said. "But you don't want my help and you certainly don't want my pity, so there's no use in my commenting on it."

"I want an explanation for why you left me, and all you've given me is vague statements and half truths!" Link snapped. "And for the record, I have no idea why my imagination would be so cruel as to summon a vision of you when I was just starting to recover."

"Well, I'm sorry I came at an inconvenient time for you," Midna said, satire dripping from her voice. Link would've been happy to hear that tone of voice again, if he weren't so mad about the fact that it was a figment of his imagination talking and not really Midna. "But the window for dream travel only opens once every hundred or so years, and I figured this would be a better time to drop by than when you're a hundred and thirty."

The two of them stared at each other for a second before Midna snickered. Link tried not to, but he let out a laugh as well. He tried to smother it, but failed. He wanted to stay furious with her. He wanted more than  _anything_ to stay furious with her. But he couldn't. Despite the fact that he was only dreaming, it was still good to see her.

"I really am sorry," Midna said after a while. "I wish it hadn't turned out this way. But if you make it to a hundred and thirty, I'll explain it to you."

"Explain it to me now," Link demanded, suddenly aware that she had started inching her way closer to the door. "You're seriously going to leave, now? Would it kill you to stay another few minutes?"

Midna glanced upward, and Link realized with alarm that his ceiling was looking a bit less solid than it normally did. He could see straight through it to the sky above. The moon seemed discolored, but Link couldn't figure out what seemed different about it. It was sinking lower and lower on the horizon, faster than it should be. "I really don't have much time, Link," Midna warned. "Bad things tend to happen when people keep dream walking past when the moon sets. You know the nursery rhyme they tell children? 'When the moon tells you to leave, make sure to close the door?' It's more applicable than you'd think."

"That's not a nursery rhyme."

Midna smiled thinly. "Must be just us Twili, then."

  
"You're a dream, Midna, part of my subconscious. Isn't there a thing about if you know you're dreaming, you can control certain aspects? If I want it enough, can I make you stay?" he asked. 

"As humorous as it is to watch you live out your delusions, it really isn't as simple as you're making it sound," Midna said with a smirk. "I really did just drop by to make sure you hadn't done anything stupid."

"Am I ever going to see you again?" he blurted out. Something flickered in Midna's eyes, and Link couldn't tell if it was hope or despair.

"If you live to be a hundred and thirty," Midna said, her attempt to make a joke falling short. 

"Shad thinks there might be a way to connect the two worlds again," Link said. He didn't know what made him say it. Maybe he thought that Midna would know something about it, and despite her previous inclinations to sabotage any chance they had of ever meeting again, she would tell him.

"Tell Shad in the name of everything he holds dear not to mess with things he doesn't understand," Midna said. She gave him a hard look. "I mean it, Link. I know Shad's the type to be curious about everything, but this is one line he doesn't want to cross. Ever."

"If he's right we could see each other again. You're not so against that, are you?"

"I'll tell you what I'm against. I'm against Hylians meddling with the will of the goddesses and potentially destroying all semblance of peace that either of our realms have," Midna snapped, and Link was taken aback by the forcefulness behind her words. "I'd like nothing more than to see you again Link, but this is something you can't mess with. There's no way anything good will come of it."

"So you're just going to leave me again without a goodbye?" Link cried. She was almost at the door now. She turned her back to him. "You can't keep saying 'see you later' and pretending that we'll talk again when we won't!"

Without turning around, Midna said "If I don't pretend that there's a chance I won't be able to leave. I care about you, Link. You're my best friend. But there was no other way that this could've ended."

"At least have the guts to say goodbye this time," Link said, his entire body shaking with a combination of fear and sadness and rage that made Link wish he was dead.

"I left you a souvenir, you know," Midna said, her hand on the doorknob. "I thought you'd have poked it with a stick by now."

"Midna!" Link shouted. He heard the familiar squeak of the knob turning, and he thought that it would be over. He closed his eyes; he couldn't, wouldn't, watch her leave again. He felt the rush of a fresh breeze on his face and waited to wake up.

"Ask Zelda about the Ancient Ones," Midna's voice carried back to him on the breeze. "And think back to Lanayru's vision. Did everything seem right to you?"

Link woke up hunched over a book, his back aching from the uncomfortable position. He lifted his head. No sign of Midna. No sign that she had ever been here, or that it had been anything other than a dream. 

On the counter a level below him, the Shadow Crystal pulsed softly.  _I left you a souvenir, you know. I thought you'd have poked it with a stick by now._

Link shook his head. Just his mind playing tricks on him. At least this time he had dreamed about Midna, and not one of the numerous times he had almost died.

 _What I need is a cup of coffee,_ Link thought, stretching his back and climbing down the ladder to the main level.  _I might not be so lucky with my dreams the next time I fall asleep._

A noise from the main hallway startled him; Link instinctively drew his sword. Funny, he didn't even remember strapping the sheath back on. Maybe it was after he had climbed down the ladder?

He crept towards the entrance, making sure to avoid all the boards in the floor that might creak. He peered around the corner, ready to kill any monster that might be idiotic enough to seek him out.

The only thing there was a small scrap of blue fabric and his door, slightly ajar.

_She was real._

Before Link even knew what he was doing, he had sprinted back around the corner into the main room and grabbed the Shadow Crystal. He looked at the object clutched tightly in his palm in shock. He had picked it up.

_I left you a souvenir, you know. I thought you'd have poked it with a stick by now._

Then it happened.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone-  
> Here's another chapter. I felt bad about not updating in so long, and I had a little time, so here it is. Hope you enjoy! The next chapter should be coming soon. :)


	10. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link deals with the consequences of touching the Shadow Crystal, and events spiral out of control.

It had been so long since Link had last been a wolf that he had almost forgotten the mind-bending agony of all of his bones reshaping and rearranging all at once. He had almost gotten used to it over the years, and he had put up with it when he had to, back then. It was almost surprising how quickly he lost his ability to tolerate the transfiguration with nothing but a grimace and biting his lip so hard it bled.

Link was fairly sure he screamed, but he couldn't be sure. His mind was on other things. Like the fact that he was a complete and utter idiot. What the hell had he been thinking? The wolf sat on the floor of his house being angry, and trying to ignore the tantalizing smell of the goats up at Ordon Ranch. It would be so easy to sneak over there and take one...

The wolf shook his head to clear his thoughts. It had been like this the first time he had changed; the urge to follow his canine instincts, his inability to keep his thoughts from wandering to wolfish thoughts of survival. At least this time around, he was experienced in focusing on everything but the wolf's normal desires, and managed to focus on his problem instead.

He was a wolf again. And there was no one to change him back.

_Oh Goddesses, Oh Hylia above. What was I thinking? Did I think that just because Midna paid me a visit, suddenly I'd be able to control this? I have no idea what I'm doing! Way to act impulsively, Link, fantastic job-_

He continued to berate himself throughout the entire afternoon, pacing back and forth in the suddenly claustrophobic confines of his house. The light faded into early evening, and Link barely noticed except for his vision improving with the lack of blinding brightness streaming through the windows.

He tired rubbing his muzzle against the Crystal; he tried barking at it; he tried thinking about how much he wanted to be human; he tried asking Midna. Nothing worked. He stayed a wolf. 

In a fit of anger, the wolf himself at the crystal, intending to fling it across the room. Instead, it cut the soft pad of his foot and clattered to the floor. Blood dribbled onto the table. The wolf let out a small whimper of pain before lightly pouncing off the table again, keeping his weight off his injured paw. When he did have to put his paw down, small streaks of red appeared on the floor. He had forgotten how painful it was to cut a pad. It had been one of the most unbearable parts of being a wolf,  the first few times he went through the ordeal. After the soreness of his bones resetting, the scratches and cuts on his paws that he walked on and fought with day after day had been the most agonizing parts of his existence. After turning back into a human, he had examined the scratches and infection-ridden cuts across his palms and feet with a wince. Midna had, only half-jokingly, suggested that maybe they purchase doggie boots the next time they were in a town. Link hadn't gratified her with a response. 

The wolf once again got up to start pacing across the floor again. He growled in frustration. Nothing was working. He once again berated himself for his stupidity. There was a difference between poking something with a stick and turning yourself into a wolf. Midna knew that. Link, apparently, did not. He couldn't help but feel that all those times early on in their journey when Midna had berated his intelligence, she hadn't been too far off the mark. Look at him now.

"Link!" A child's voice startled the wolf from his thoughts.  _Oh, Hylia, not now. Goddesses have mercy, this can't be happening now-_ "Link!" Talo called again. The wolf huffed  in a mix of panic and frustration. For weeks he had been back, and the village children had left him alone. Why is it that now, of all times, Talo decided to come disturb his peace? How in the Sacred Realm was he supposed to explain this to Talo? He didn't even have vocal chords!

Oh, this was bad. Maybe if he just didn't respond, Talo would get the message and leave him alone, at least until the wolf could figure out what to do.

"Link, I know you're there! Ilia told me!"  _Well, so much for that._ "Link, I'm coming up there! You've been moping around for long enough." The wolf's keen hearing picked up the sound of tiny feet starting up the rungs of the ladder.

_Talo, stop it!_ Link wanted to scream.  _No one is supposed to know about this! No one! Of all the people in this world, four of them know about me, know about the wolf! You couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it, Talo, this isn't going to go over well! Go away!_

But wolves cannot talk, and thus he was forced to simply listen in dread as Talo climbed up the ladder and flung open the door.

"Link, you are just going to have to get used to village life again," Talo declared, marching fearlessly into Link's living room. "Sitting around and moping isn't going to do you any good, you know. Ilia says-" Talo's gaze finally landed on the wolf. He froze. His eyes slowly moved to the traces of blood on the ground and on the tabletop, then back to the wolf.

"Wha-what did you do with Link?" Talo asked, his voice quivering slightly. Link wanted to explain.

_It's me, Talo, it's me, Link! I know it's a bit shocking at first. Seriously, believe me, I know. But it's me,  I'm fine, just temporarily stuck is all. So if you'll go away for now and let me figure this out, I'll explain it all later, just give me a few days-_

The wolf couldn't form the words he was thinking out loud, and so instead he sat on the floor, curling his tail around him and hoping to look nonthreatening, and willing Talo to understand. Talo looked at him uneasily before backing up a step.

"You wouldn't know this, but I used to protect Kakariko Village from monsters," Talo said, inching backwards, reaching his hand behind him. Link's gaze flitted to see what Talo was reaching for.  _Dammit! My bow. Why didn't I put it downstairs with everything else? What is wrong with me?_ "I was very good at it. I have a natural knack for dealing with monsters."

_I'm not a monster, Talo, it's me, dammit! If you shoot me, I swear to Hylia-_

"You better not have hurt Link, you evil wolfo," Talo said stutteringly. "Because if you did, you're gonna be sorry-" Talo's tiny hand wrapped around the grip of Link's bow. The wolf could see his hand shaking as he pulled the bow in front of him, smell the rankness of his fear enveloping the room.  _Oh, Goddesses, he's going to shoot me._

The wolf knew it just as instinctively as he knew that he could tackle Talo in three seconds, taking into account the distance between them. He knew that he could bite down on Talo's neck before he could even think about knocking an arrow, let alone aiming it at him.

But it was Talo! He couldn't hurt Talo! Sure, the kid might be annoying as all creation at times, but he didn't mean anything by it. He was just a kid, it wasn't his fault. And if he did kill him? What then? When he finally turned back into a human, he would have to confront the villagers and explain to them why he had killed an innocent boy. How could he justify that?  _He was pointing a bow at me because he thought that I was a monster who had hurt someone he cared about._ No, he couldn't hurt Talo.

But he couldn't let himself get killed, either. It didn't matter that Talo was a child who didn't know any better, Link had come too damn far to get killed by something as simple as a scared kid with shaky aim. 

The wolf sprung into action just as Talo was fumbling to knock an arrow. Even as he was running past him, the wolf found himself thinking,  _Talo, you fool, that's not how you knock an arrow. Have I taught you nothing at all? If you're going to needlessly resort to violence, at least do it right!_

"Come back here, you filthy wolf! I'll teach you better than to hurt my friends!" Talo yelled, and just as the wolf was jumping out the door, bracing himself to hit the ground and immediately start running for the refuge of Faron, he heard the sound of a bowstring being released, and the soaring of an arrow through the air.

Talo's aim was wildly off; he had never gotten it through his head that you had to shoot for where your target would be, not where it was. If Talo's arrow had gone exactly where he pointed it, he would've missed Link by at least a meter at least. But by some twist of fate, when Talo's arrow went amiss, it just so happened to fly straight to where Talo should've aimed, right to where the wolf was bounding towards the ground.

The arrow caught him in his front left leg; it wouldn't have been too bad, if not for the way the wolf landed. He didn't compensate for the fact that the leg couldn't hold as much weight anymore, and it buckled under him. Even as he fell sideways to the ground, the wolf knew that mere months ago he wouldn't have made this mistake. He hadn't been a wolf in too long.

The ground pushed the arrow through his leg and into the side of his chest. The yowl of pain the wolf cried out hurt even his own ears. Out of the corner of his eye, the wolf could see Talo, his complexion ashen, looking at him from Link's doorway, the bow dangling by his side. "That'll show you," he whispered.

Despite the fact that he was no longer used to the intricacies of fighting in his wolf form, Link was still fully attuned to the ins and outs of battle. Rule number one: Never, ever stay down for any longer than you have to if you're not one hundred percent confident you can use it to your advantage. The wolf struggled to his feet and limped forward, his eyes seeing nothing but the path towards Faron, his escape from Talo.

"Link!" cried Epona, and if the wolf could've, he would have smiled. He had almost forgotten what it was like to hear his horse speak and actually be able to understand.

"I'm fine, Epona," he whimpered out, knowing that while he couldn't speak to humans, Epona would understand him just fine. "Get Ilia," he said, before he could think about the words leaving his mouth. Epona whinnied and took off towards the village without a second thought.

_She's always been so good about minding me,_ the wolf thought as he struggled towards the passageway through the rocks. Behind him, he heard Talo pulling back the bowstring again, and ignoring the searing pain from his shoulder and side, the put on a burst of speed so that this time, the arrow missed him by the meter it should have. He tried to keep his whimpers of pain quiet as he weighted his leg far more than he should've; it was just a ways until Ordon Spring. If he could just make it there...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone-  
> It's been a while since my last update. Sorry about that. Anyway, here's this for you. I'm hoping I can have another one done soon, but I'm fairly busy this weekend, so we'll see how things play out.  
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! :)


	11. Aid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friend helps Link treat his wound, and Link begins to journey towards Hyrule Castle, hoping Zelda can help him get out of wolf form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone-  
> It's been a lot longer since I posted than it was supposed to be, sorry. Anyway, here's this new chapter, sorry it's short. I'm a bit busy the rest of this week but hopefully since it's summer now I'll have another update for you soon.  
> Thanks so much for continuing to read the story. I hope you like it!

The wolf didn't feel his paws splash into the spring, didn't feel the cold shock of the water soak into his fur, didn't feel the cool breeze blowing over him as he collapsed underneath the fairies.

The wolf did smell his blood leeching into the water around him, turning it a murky red as the liquid that kept him alive swirled in morbid patterns around his prone form. A fairy floated lazily towards him, like he knew it would. As he lay limply in the water, the wolf hazily thought to himself  _I wish she would hurry up. Why do fairies never act like they're in any hurry to save people's lives? Then again, I suppose we're asking a lot of them by asking for healing in the first place._

He was delirious. Even as his thoughts trailed off into obscurity, he knew the blood loss was screwing with him. He felt his legs collapse under him. Heaving the wolf equivalent of a sigh that quickly turned into a whimper of pain, he struggled back to his feet, stumbling as he did so. The idea off staying down unless your legs were broken so bad you could no longer physically stand was so foreign to the wolf, the need to go down swinging was so deeply ingrained into him that he couldn't have even considered not standing up again, no matter what state he was in.

The fairy, which had begun to drift away when he collapsed, hesitantly floated towards him once more. The wolf was just beginning to feel some of its healing magic surround him when a loud, concerned voice from the entrance to the spring sent it fluttering away in fright. "Epona, why are you bringing me here? Is Link okay? Is he hurt? Epona, girl, what are you trying to tell me?" Ilia said, hurriedly following Epona as the horse galloped into the water. Ilia stopped short of running into Epona, wrapping a flimsy robe around an even flimsier night gown to protect herself from the cold night air. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw the wolf.

"Epona?" she said questioningly, taking a hesitant step back. Her eyes never left the mostly-motionless wolf. Link didn't want to scare her. Not again, not this time, not today. She couldn't run away. He needed her. Link whimpered, trying to make himself sound as helpless as possible.  _Come on, Ilia, you always help animals in need. You can't stop yourself. I'm not any different, come on, help me. I might die without you._ Even if the fairies healed him, the wolf would still need to find somewhere to hide from Talo, if it came to that, and someone would still have to help him dislodge the arrow from his shoulder. Then there was the problem of getting back into human form, though he doubted Ilia could do anything about that.

Link watched as Ilia's eyes softened. "Are you hurt?" Ilia asked him, voice soft.  _I wonder if she knows it's me,_ Link thought foolishly.  _There are stories of people just knowing when they're seeing a friend in a different life. Why should a different form be so different?_ But Link knew she had no idea. She was just helping an injured animal, like she always did. It was one of the things he had forgotten about her, during the quest. How she would always mend little things, little creatures that had no one else to help them. How had he forgotten that?

"Ilia," Link tried to say, but all it sounded like to her ears was a small whimper of pain from the wolf with an arrow sticking out of its side. She clicked her tongue softly, making soothing sounds.

"That looks like it hurts, doesn't it?" Ilia said, hesitantly approaching him, the fear not entirely gone from her eyes. He wished it would disappear completely. That she could just look at him with care. But even in this form, he was dangerous, and she knew it, and she kept herself guarded.

_Why can't it just go back to the way it was?_ Link screamed in the oppressive silence of his mind.  _Why can't we just get along like we used to? Why did I ever develop a skill for fighting? Why did I ever start craving it? WHY CAN'T EVERYTHING JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS BEFORE THE WORLD WENT TO HELL? WHY DID ANY OF THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN!_

_If Midna had just kept her throne, none of this would ever have happened. I'd still be a happy, carefree ranch hand, probably married to Ilia by now, and not have to think about things like killing and death and saving the world. The hero's spirit could've waited another reincarnation before tearing up Hyrule while trying to save it._

"I'm going to try to take this out now, okay?" Ilia said, kneeling down beside him. The water sloshed around her, and the blood seeped into the hem of her nightgown. Ilia didn't notice, all her attention focused on the wolf. She examined him carefully, her brow furrowing when he growled in pain as she tried to pry his shoulder away from his torso.

"It's piercing through, isn't it?" she murmured. She looked him in the eyes. "This might hurt a bit," she said. "Try to hold still."

Link braced himself. "Please don't kill me," Ilia said softly, and without any further warning yanked out the arrow. The wolf's howl was heard all the way back in Ordon Village.

The wolf stumbled, falling into Ilia. She leaped back instinctively, taking a moment to realize it wasn't an attack. She relaxed and stroked the wolf's head gently. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it? You have very pretty eyes, you know," she said. Her hand paused behind his ears, a strange look crossing her face. "You remind me of a friend I once had," she said gently, and Link felt a pang in his chest that had nothing to do with his wound.  _Once had._ Link knew he had brought it upon himself, but that didn't make it hurt any less. So it was over.

"He might come back one day," Ilia said, no longer really talking to the wolf. "But I doubt it. I think I really messed something up there. I pushed him too far, and he's gotten so used to being alone, to not having to answer to anyone, to not having anyone love him when he's all by himself, all alone in the world, trying to do the right thing. I think I pushed him too far and he's never coming back. I think maybe he sent back his horse to tell me that." Ilia looked over at Epona. Was that really why she thought Epona was here? As some twisted goodbye? Did she really think him so low? Link pushed his thoughts aside and tried to instead focus on all the pain he had caused his friend instead. He vowed to apologize just as soon as he had functioning vocal chords again. He never should've started that fight with her. He would fix this. He would fix this, just like he fixed the world.

Ilia angrily wiped tears from her eyes. "But that doesn't matter now, does it?" she said brightly. "We need to get you bandaged up." The girl gently cupped the healing water into her hands and poured it onto the wolf's wounds, making sure to get some onto his punctured chest, even when he growled in warning.

"I have to make sure that heals up right," she said. "Sorry that it hurts, but it has to be done." After a few more handfuls of water, Ilia gently pushed the wolf off her lap and got up to get a fairy, her nightgown flowing behind her in the clear water.

Despite the very different situations, Link found himself seeing her the way she was when the Twilight Crisis began. Telling him to be careful, not to get into too much trouble, to take care of Epona on his way to Hyrule Castle. Seeing her get clubbed over the head, waking up with her gone, not sure if she was alive or dead for the better part of four months. Goddesses, he was so glad she was safe. So many people had died, but not Ilia. Ilia was too stubborn to die.

Just like she was too stubborn to give up on Link, although she didn't entirely know it.

Ilia returned with her carefully retrieved fairy, setting it gently on the wolf's shoulder. The familiar feeling of warmth spread across his body as the sound of the fairy's magic greeted his ears. The pain was subsiding, ever so slightly. Ilia regarded the fairy's work critically.

"You're still going to have a ways to go to recover," she said. "But you won't die tonight."

Ilia hesitated. The wolf knew she was questioning what she could do with him, where she could keep him to make sure he healed correctly,  _if_ she could keep a wolf anywhere at all.

"Why don't you come with me," Ilia said gently, seeming to make up her mind. "I know a safe place you can stay while you heal up. Please?" she said, her tone taking on a pleading edge. Most of the animals she helped were small enough she could pick them up and take them back to the village with her. A wolf, not so much.

"Ilia!" yelled a child's voice. Link's stomach dropped, and he could see Ilia's face mirror his panic. Talo couldn't find him here. Not now, not when he was still so weak and desperate and helpless and confused and utterly unable to become a human again. The wolf was certain that if Talo found him now, he wouldn't hesitate to kill him. At the close range from the entrance to the spring to where he was laying, there was no chance Talo could miss.

Link struggled up again, fighting back a whimper when he was forced to weight his leg. At least the searing pain had gone away. Now it was more of a burning sensation, a fierce ache, a fiery stab through his muscles.

But he could move. And if he had to, he could probably run.

Link looked up at his horse. "I have to go," he said, as quietly as he could. Epona whinnied, partially covering up the sound of his bark.  _Good girl,_ Link thought to himself.  _Always watching out for me._

"Where?" Epona said, her concern evident. Hylia, Link had missed being able to talk to his horse.

"Zelda," Link said, not sure that it was the right decision until he communicated it to Epona. "She'll know what to do."

"Ilia, are you okay? I saw you rush by, and then I heard a wolf. So did everyone else! Are you hurt? He already got Link, he can't get you too!" Talo shouted. 

"Ilia!" yelled a second voice, and Link shrunk away instinctively. That was the mayor. Talo wasn't alone. Link bolted for the hidden passage into the spring, nosing aside the vines hurriedly and ignoring the pain in his chest and shoulder. There were more important things right now. Like staying alive.

Link dove into the passage just as Talo burst into the spring. "Where is he? Where is that monster? I'll get him this time, I will!" he yelled. A torchlight appeared behind him, then another, then another. Link's stomach dropped, and he shimmied farther back into the passage, trying not to make a sound. Talo had brought a mob with him. Talo alone, maybe Link could survive, but not the entire village. Most of them had lost family to the invasions at the beginning of the Twilight Crisis, and the parents of the children had just gotten them back. The fear of monsters was so deep seated in Ordona Province that none of those villagers would give running him through with a spear a second thought. Link couldn't let that happen.

How many people in the village knew about this passage? How long would it take for them to find him?

Barely breathing, the wolf inched backward slowly, the pain in his leg reappearing with every step he took. He ignored it and kept going. He wasn't going to die here. Not after everything. 

Link could hear Ilia talking to the villagers, their loud, panicked voices and the underlying fear in their tones. A bad mixture. Scared and panicked. A mob could do a lot of damage if they were scared and panicked, especially if they were all going after one person. Or one wolf.

The wolf reached the end of the passage, the cold air greeting him with relish after the imagined eternity of the small passage. The wolf stuck his muzzle out, then pulled it quickly back in at the smell of burning torches. Sneaking past the villagers and across the bridge wasn't an option. He'd have to traverse back behind the spring. Creeping out once more, Link prayed.  _Goddess Hylia, I've served your will over the past two years. I've given up everything, I've fought so hard, to make sure Hyrule stayed safe. Please protect me now as you did back then. Please help me get through this alive. I can't die like this. I've got to see Midna again._

The wolf jumped into the brush, taking care not to fall back into the passage. He kept low, creeping into the more densely populated woods, always keeping the villagers in his sight. 

"Search the surrounding woods!" the mayor yelled, his words ringing in the wolf's sensitive ears. "I will not have a monster lurking around our village, especially with Link out of town." Link sacrificed a bit of his stealth for speed as he pushed himself to go faster, to disappear into the trees.

By the time the first of the villagers checked behind the spring, it was over. The wolf, though injured, had just crossed the canyon at a bridge a few miles west. The villagers would not find him in Ordona Province.

A few odd drops of blood dripping down from his shoulders and over his already sore and scratched paws were the only indication of the route the wolf had taken. And even those were swallowed by the darkness of the night, and the rainstorm that would sweep the land the next day.

Link's breaths were ragged as he ran across the landscape as fast as his injured body would carry him. After a few hours, his injured leg had grown numb, the shooting pains becoming a part of his rhythm every time his paw touched the ground. His bigger problem now was the pain from his chest, the outer wounds healed but the inner wounds still trying to twist back together as he ran. 

_What I wouldn't give for a bit of Midna's magic_ was Link's last thought before all he could process was  _Zelda will know what to do, Zelda will know what to do, Zelda will know what to do,_ over and over again with each time his paws touched the ground.

The wolf ran through the night, his blood trailing behind him in ever-increasing amounts, desperately hoping that he was right.


	12. Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone-  
> Sorry it's been so long! My summer has been very hectic, and starting the school year has been even more so. However, I'm still working on this whenever I can find the time, and I plan to continue doing so. Sorry in advance for how slow updates will probably be in the future.  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

Telma’s sigh conveyed so much disappointment that Link wanted to scream. “And just how did you manage to get yourself into this situation?” she asked. The wolf waited expectantly. Telma sighed again and wiped her hands off on an apron. “You are a hard one to deal with, you know that, honey?” she said.

Telma checked over her shoulder for any patrons leaving the bar, and then cast a casual glance at the thoroughfare, checking for Hyrulean soldiers. There were none. Telma nodded at the ever present box that allowed him access to the tunnels into Hyrule Castle. “I don't know why, but I had a feeling you might have use for that again. Then again, I was hoping I was wrong."

It was a good thing Link couldn't talk, because he might've said  _ I wasn't. I wanted you to be right. _

"Go ahead. Go see the Pr-Queen," Telma corrected. "I know that’s why you’re here.” Link looked away to avoid her accusatory gaze. "You just had to get yourself into this again, didn't you?" she said. "The triforce'll fall down from the sky before I stop worrying about you,"

_ I'm sorry, Telma,  _ he wanted to say.  _ I'm sorry I couldn't just be happy with where I was. I'll fix this, I promise. After this, you won't have to worry about me. _

But he couldn't say any of that. The wolf whined softly. Telma's smile was bittersweet as she said, "I know, honey. We can talk once you and the Queen sort out all that. Get going now, before a less friendly face sees you."

Heart in his throat, the wolf clambered up the box and vanished from her sight. By the time Telma spotted the blood he had left in the shape of his paws, the wolf was already inside the tunnels beneath Hyrule Castle.

"Hylia, watch over that boy," Telma murmured before turning and walking back into her bar, making sure to leave the door just the tiniest bit open.

 

***

 

The spiders that infested the tunnels under Hyrule Castle during Link's last visit were nowhere to be seen as the wolf loped through the darkness.

_ Ashei must really be cleaning the place up,  _ the wolf thought to himself dryly.  _ I knew she would. _

The wolf reached the bottom of the stairwell before stopping mid-step and slinking back into the shadows.  _ Then again, maybe she's cleaned it up too well,  _ he thought, eyeing the guards that definitely were not there the last time he visited. This was a predicament. The wolf had not expected this.

"You've managed to make a proper mess of things, haven't you?" said a voice from the shadows. Link whipped around, then relaxed as he recognized the feline.

"Only way I know how," he replied, trying not to sound as embarrassed as he felt. The wolf nodded to her. "Louise. Good to see you."

"You see me every time you're in this town, wolf boy. We just haven't conversed recently," the cat replied, sitting down and examining her paw in the shadows that both animals could see through.

"You know what I mean. You followed me?"

"Of course I did. You can't just go romping around the Castle like you used to. Ashei's in charge of the guard now. You didn't think she'd close up all the security breaches that gave you free run of the place?" Louise said, looking up at him. "Daft as ever."

"I'm not daft," the wolf said stubbornly. "And I don't see you coming up with a plan." Louise snorted.

"Oh, please. I always have a plan, little wolf," Louise said. "He'll be arriving shortly."

"He?" Link whispered. A sharp burst of light momentarily blinded the wolf's sensitive eyes, and he flinched away as a figure strode purposefully past himself and the cat, paying them no mind.

"Yes. Him," Louise said. "Always eager to help you, that one."

"Gentlemen," Shad said casually, holding a torch for light. “Lovely evening we have ourselves here.”

“Yes, sir,” one of the guards said cautiously. None of Ashei’s soldiers really knew how to act around the Head Mage. They would see him around the castle from time to time, performing his spells and muttering to himself. Since they couldn’t see just what he was fixing with his spells and incantations, they had a tendency to distrust him. However, these new Hyrulean guards were not fools; they still knew he had power beyond their comprehension. And he was Ashei’s friend, so they tried to be respectful, despite their misgivings.

“Have you chaps seen any keese around here lately?” Shad said, peering around intently. His eyes stuck on Link for a moment, and the wolf could swear there was a flash of something in Shad’s eyes that was akin to excitement. Link didn’t want to think about the fact that if it weren’t for the grueling pain in his leg and his side, the look on Shad’s face would mirror Link’s own mood. The wolf was happy to be in the action again, even if it was his own damn fault. Shad returned his gaze to the guards. “There’s a infection passing through the population, and we think it might be potentially hazardous to Hylians,” he said.

“None down here, sir,” the second guard said, anxious to be rid of the mage.

“Are you quite sure?” Shad persisted. “It is a rather dangerous strain, thought to be the consequence of a curse, actually-”

“A curse?” the first guard interrupted suddenly. Ever since the Shadow Beasts, the citizens in Hyrule had been very particular about curses.

“Oh, yes,” Shad said casually. He tilted his head slightly, the light from the torch casting shadows across his flummoxed expression. “Didn’t I mention?”

“No, sir.” The guard shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. “You said it was transmittable?”

“Well, the disease is, yes. I’m not sure about the curse. However, just to be safe, I think you should stay away from this area, at least until I clear it. Don’t worry about getting in trouble, I’ll talk to your captain and Ashei myself about why you weren’t at your posts,” Shad added, seeing the torn expressions upon the guards’ faces. That decides it for them. 

“Thank you, sir,” the first guard said, practically tripping over himself as he ran for the door. The second guard was slightly more cautious.

“And you will talk to Ashei?” he said. “I don’t want to get in trouble with her. That woman can be scary.”

“Don’t I know it,” Shad said dryly. The comment was lost on the guard. “Yes, I will talk to Ashei. Now, I suggest you leave. I have to perform some rather difficult spells, and I wouldn’t want you to get caught in anything… unsavory,” Shad said, letting the drama of the sentence hang in the air.

“Of course, sir. Goodnight, Mage.” The guard scurried out. After they were gone, Shad turned towards Link and Louise and winked.

“Nothing scares ‘em off like the threat of a good curse, eh, Link?” Shad said. His expression sobered. “When the Queen fixes that, I do hope you’ll give me an explanation. And I hope it has absolutely nothing to do with that dreadful Twilight Realm,” Shad sniffed. His expression blatantly contradicted his words. The wolf nodded his thanks to Shad as his friend turned to leave. 

“How did you get him to come here?” the wolf asked Louise as he watched Shad walk back the way he came, careful to make sure the guards were nowhere in sight before exiting the hallway.

“The same signal I always used to get their attention when you needed it,” Louise said. “I knocked your glass over.”

“Telma still has that?” Link said, though he didn’t know why he was surprised. That was always how the rebellion communicated that they were in trouble, or in town, or needed to pass along information. They each had a glass that they left on their reserved table in the back. If they couldn’t find the others at the bar, they could just look at the small signals on each other’s glasses to get all the news they needed.

“Of course she kept them, you daft oaf. She’s the same as you and Shad, deep down,” Louise said. “Now go pester your princess. I grow tired of talking to you.”

“It was good to see you, too,” the wolf said, giving the cat the closest thing he could to a smile. He knew Louise was happy to be able to talk to him again. The feline might have a cult to run outside of Jovani’s house, but she still liked talking to other animals whenever they were around. Especially ones that could later tell humans just what she thought of them.

“Farewell, Link. For your sake, I do hope this is the last time we end up speaking.”

“Bye!” the wolf called obnoxiously after her, and immediately regretted it when he felt a tremor of pain shoot down his side.  _ So that’s a no on the yelling, then,  _ the wolf noted.

The night was peaceful, the wind calm. It meant no rain on his fur, which Link appreciated; but it was much harder to get across the castle’s spires, which he did not. By the time he arrived outside the Queen’s balcony, he was panting from the exertion. But maybe that had more to do with the wound he had reopened than the tedious traverse. The wolf slipped quietly into the tower.

Once inside, the wolf looked up at the solid oak doors that concealed Zelda’s room. Oh, she would most definitely not be happy to see him. She was going to be so disappointed. After Ilia’s sadness, Telma’s disappointment, Shad’s weary curiosity, and Louise’s dismissal, Link wasn’t in the mood to let down anymore of his friends. But some things can’t be helped, so Link nudged the Queen’s door softly with his nose, careful not to alert the guard down the staircase of his presence.

“Enter,” Zelda called regally. If he had been in his human form, Link would’ve laughed at her tone. When she didn’t know called on her, she used her princess voice, and no matter how many times he heard it, it was still so different from her normal tone that he had to laugh.

Link pushed the door open, fighting not to whimper at the pain that tore through his side like a knife. Zelda looked up from her book in surprise as the wolf limped in.

“Well this is certainly interesting,” Zelda said, carefully shutting the volume and placing it on her bedside table. “I didn’t think you could pull off this particular trick anymore, Link,” she said. The wolf waited patiently. She knew what he was there for.

“You want me to fix it, don’t you,” she said wearily, not even posing it as a question. The wolf nodded. “And you do realize I have no idea how Midna’s brand of magic works, let alone Zant’s dark magic that lets you assume this form?”

Again the wolf nodded. Zelda sighed.

“You think that just because I temporarily leased my soul to Midna that I’ll have some notion of how this works.”

_ It’s almost like you don’t even need me to carry on a conversation,  _ the wolf thought to himself.

“Stop smiling, this is serious!” Zelda snapped. The wolf wasn’t sure how she could tell what his expression was, but he stopped abruptly. “Thank you,” the Queen said. She rubbed her temples. She looked more stressed than the last time he had seen her, despite the fact that it had only been a few weeks. “I’ll see what I can think up,” she said. “But I can’t promise you anything.”

The wolf sat down gingerly, trying to take the weight off his aching leg. Zelda eyed his wound but said nothing, much to Link’s relief. He wasn’t sure he wanted her opinion on the matter.

“You can’t stay in here, you know,” Zelda said after a while, snapping Link’s attention back to her. His mind had started to wander, looking around her room. All the colors he hadn’t been able to see as a human that he had been too focused on survival to think about now dazzled in the room around him, and the wolf devoured them hungrily. He had missed these colors. One of the saddest things about turning back into a human had always been missing the colors he could no longer see. Link whined, doing his best to look pitiful. He didn’t want to sleep outside, and he wasn’t above grovelling to stay in the warmth of the castle.

“If you’re trying to get me to pity you, it isn’t working,” Zelda said coldly, but the wolf could read the look in her eyes as clear as day. It was a good thing that the Queen of Hyrule wasn’t as transparent to everyone else as she was to him. As if she could read his thoughts, Zelda looked away from his gaze. “Fine. I’ll get out some blankets for you. But if anyone sees you and I have to defend your presence here to some poor servant, I will hold you accountable once I fix this mess,” Zelda said.

The last thing the wolf saw that night before dropping into slumber like a rock into a lake was Zelda staring off into space, almost as if she was looking at a specter that no one else could see. 

 


	13. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all-  
> I'm back! Sorry it's been so long since my last update. I hope this chapter makes up for it. Fair warning, it gets pretty emotional near the end.  
> I'd also like to assure y'all again that I do intend to finish this fic, even if the updates are really slow. I'm working on it, I promise! I have a lot of ideas for where I want to take this story, and I'm excited to see where it goes.  
> As always, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

When the wolf woke up again, Zelda was gone, and he was not the least bit surprised. While Link would've liked to think that he ranked somewhere higher up on Zelda's list of priorities, he wasn't daft enough to assume that was the reality of the situation. Zelda was the Queen, and no matter what the wolf had done for the good of Hyrule and the world at large, the kingdom had to come first, not whatever trouble he had gotten himself into.

The wolf slowly tested his aching muscles, noting the throbbing pain in his leg in a somewhat detached manner. It was almost alarming to Link how easily he was able to slip back into the pattern of accepting excruciating pain and immediately moving on to "more pressing" matters. 

The thought sounded like something Midna would say, and, as it did every morning, the loss hit him all over again. He realized how empty his shadow was, how quiet his life was without her quiet breathing and snarky comments when no one else was listening. Link once again realized the Midna-shaped void in his life, and he closed his eyes, fighting to forget again.  _What I wouldn't give to forget._

Would he, though? Would he give up the adventure, the experience, ever knowing Midna at all, just so that he wouldn't have to suffer?

_Maybe this is the price I pay,_ the wolf thought.  _Maybe this is what I live with in exchange for everything I've killed, all I've done, in the name of the greater good. Maybe this is what I deserve._

"Well, you're looking decidedly mopey this morning," a voice said from the doorway. The wolf immediately jumped up and away from the voice, instantly alert. Ashei's face morphed into a slightly mocking smirk as she opened the door a little wider and stepped through. "The Queen told me you were up here," she explained as the wolf slowly relaxed again. "The guard on duty was a bit skeptical when I told him the Captain of the Guard was taking over his post for the day, but he stopped asking questions when I told him he got the day off."

Ashei sat down gingerly on one of the plush chairs scattered around Zelda's room, looking slightly startled when it sank underneath her. "So, what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

_The amount of times I've heard that in the past day,_ the wolf thought to himself while giving Ashei what he hoped was a look that said "You do realize I can't answer, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You'll have to explain it all to me later," Ashei said. "Zelda wanted me to tell you that she's working on it, but that these things take time. And she can't exactly ignore all the other Queenly things she has to do, either, but that's just me talking. I know how you so love to hear my opinions," Ashei said, giving Link a lopsided smile. The grin faded as she took in the considerable wound in his side, and her eyes darkened as she saw something the wolf had yet to realize: something that looked suspiciously like an infection. "Well, my furry friend, that can't be good," she said. The wolf eyed his wound, but gave no indication of his thoughts.

"Shad wanted me to check in on you, too," Ashei said after a while, tearing her gaze from the gash in the wolf's side. "Obviously we'd all take an arrow for you, and you don't need to give us an explanation if you don't want to, but I'm sure you know we're all worried." The wolf nodded reluctantly.

_I'm going to get it together,_ he wanted to tell her.  _Once Zelda fixes this, I promise you, I'm going to get it together._

"You have your thinking face on," Ashei commented mildly. Link was unsure as to how she could tell. "Any brilliant ideas, Hero?" 

 

***

 

Zelda didn't return until mid afternoon. She sat down on her bed wearily, briefly closing her eyes before focusing on the wolf, sitting expectantly on her floor. She purposefully tried to keep her gaze from drifting to the ever-worsening wound on his side. She knew he wouldn't respond favorably to any attempt she made to inspect it, so she didn't try. One of the first lessons she had learned about being Queen in the aftermath of a harrowing invasion and widespread confusion, fear, and chaos was that you had to focus on the battles you could win first, before moving onto the real challenges.

"Is there any chance you brought the Crystal with you?" Zelda asked meekly. The way Link looked away and didn't respond was answer enough. Zelda rubbed her forehead wearily. She had a headache again. She didn't know why that surprised her anymore. It seemed she always had a headache, when it came to Link.

"That might be okay," Zelda said, already trying to think of another way to get Link back into human form. "Obviously it would be helpful to have the crystal to examine, but I'm sure there are other ways." She didn't want to make Link feel bad. While she had a sneaking suspicion that this was, indeed, his fault,  she didn't want to place undue blame, or make him feel worse about it. You didn't have to look too hard to see what the Hero of Twilight was going through, and that he was beating himself up enough for it without her having to say or do anything.

 

 

After that, Zelda stopped talking. Link sat patiently on the floor, awaiting her verdict. At first, he could see that his presence distracted her, but as he was about to get up to leave and wait outside on the stairs, Zelda abruptly went somewhere else. Physically, she was still sitting on her bed, wearing the same fiercely contemplative look, but mentally, the Queen had left the building. The wolf settled back down, lying his muzzle down against the cold stone floors. He tried to ignore the pain in his side, but he couldn't ignore the fact that he knew the wound was worsening, and he couldn't put off asking for help forever. Being stubborn and toughing it out worked out okay for him during the adventure, to a point. But eventually, waiting to heal the slow, natural way became less of a means of convenience and more foolhardy, bordering on suicidal the longer he put off serious help. Midna used to give him crap about that. After she stopped pushing him around and started giving a damn, she was always the first to notice when he needed more help than her meager healing skills. And she could be very vocal in pointing it out. 

He missed that. While Link greatly appreciated Zelda's lack of judgement, or at least lack of communicating said judgement, about the mistakes he had made in the past few days, he missed the nagging little shadow who bullied him into getting help when he needed it. He always had been somewhat of a pushover. Ilia had been able to wear him down until they had become friends, and Midna had used her ability to overcome his will as easily as she did to shape him into a warrior made of iron and steel. Ironically enough, the two most important people in his life had both used his greatest flaw to make him better. 

And now he had lost him both.

The wolf tried his best not to think about it as he pushed his face harder into the floor, hoping that the rough texture and startling cool would help him to focus on something else.

The wolf drifted off, and only awoke again at the soft sound of the doors creaking open and closed. The wolf half opened his eyes to see Zelda in a heavy cloak, her cheeks pink from cold. He lifted his head.

"I've found a way to fix it," The Queen whispered to him. She reached into the cloak and pulled out a vial of clear liquid that shimmered in the moonlight.  _Great Fairy Tears?_ "Do me a favor and for once in your life, let me do the worrying," Zelda said with a soft smile. "Just drink up." She held the vial to the wolf's mouth, and gently helped him to drink it. After the liquid was gone, the wolf looked up into her eyes questioningly. The movement was cut off when his body convulsed, and a sharp yip of pain crushed from the wolf as if it had been beaten out of him. Zelda's eyes went wide and she immediately reached forward to clamp his muzzle shut.

"I'm so sorry about this," she said, looking to the door nervously. "You understand why they can't hear you." The wolf nodded even as the next pang of the familiar agony jolted through his body like lightning. Link knew that feeling. It was that of his bones changing, rearranging into what they had been before all this had started, before Midna, before the Twilight, before being the Chosen Hero. Back when he had just been Link of Ordon, part time sheep herder, best friend of the mayor's daughter. 

He was becoming human again.

 

***

 

He couldn't open his eyes. For brief seconds, he could feel his body, but nothing below his legs. This panicked him, and that panic sent him into oblivion once again.

Every once in a while, he caught snippets of conversation before darkness consumed him

_Infection...worse than we thought...how did this happen?_

And always, his internal monologue played on.  _Midna. Help me. Midna. Come back. How could you leave me? I can't do this alone. I miss you. Midna. You can't leave me with all this responsibility, Midna, I have no idea what to do! I can't do this without you, I need you to come back! Midna!_

The first time Link managed to pry his crusted eyes open, through the bleariness of his vision and whatever film was coating his eyes, he thought he saw Midna's small imp form looking at him, the heartbreak on her face so staggering it made him wish he was dead. 

"You idiot," she whispered, and her voice was as clear as if she had been standing right next to him, whispering in his ear. "Don't get yourself killed because of me. For Hylia's sake, I told you to poke it with a stick, maybe consider the fact that I might've left you enough clues to piece together how we can get through this, not try to get yourself killed!"

_I'm not a hundred and thirty yet,_ Link thought deliriously, unsure if he had said it out loud or not. How had he ended up here? What happened again? He remembered switching, and then everything was darkness, his consciousness drifting through the void.  _Are you real?_

Midna smiled at him, and Link had the insane thought that maybe he saw unshed tears sparkling in her eyes. "You idiot," she said again. "Don't you know how much I love you? Let me go, Link. I made a mistake. I was wrong, Link. I can't drag you back into this, not after you've fought so hard for so long. You deserve peace."

"Midna," he tried to say.

"Let me go," she repeated again, and Link fell back into darkness.

 

***

 

"You've look like you've been to the Shadow Realm and back," Zelda commented dryly. Link opened his eyes. Blinked. Mentally made sure his limbs were all still attached. He felt the down pillow behind his bed, and the soft sheets covering him. "If you knew your infection was that bad, you should've told me before you changed back. It could've killed you."

"I've been through worse," Link said instinctively, running his tongue over his teeth, testing out his scratchy vocal chords. "How long was I out?"

"About a week," the Queen said. She was sitting on the edge of his bed, taking care not to touch him. "You had us all worried. When you changed back, you blacked out, and I couldn't get you to wake up. Because I didn't change you back using the same magic you became a wolf in, it did strange things to your wounds."

"Strange how?"

"Well for one thing, the gash went from the base of your neck to your hips, and I could see your ribs when we carried you to the apothecary."

Link tried to smile at her. "The Queen, helping to carry a wounded idiot to the apothecary? How kind of her."

"It's not funny!" Zelda snapped at him, though not as meanly as she could've. "I was worried about you. You kept muttering about Ancient Ones, and Lanayru, and..." Zelda looked away, and Link knew what she was going to say before she did. Nothing else would pain her this much. "And Midna."

"Hmm," Link said. They didn't speak for a while.

"I'm sorry I put you through so much," he said when he felt he could speak again. Zelda looked back over at him.

"I'm just doing my job," she said softly.

"It isn't your job to take care of me, Zel," Link said gently. "It isn't, and it shouldn't have to be. I'm trying to get better. And I keep telling myself that I am, and that I will, and that these things take time, and that I have to adjust to life now, but it might take a while. It's just so Hylia-damned  _hard._ Do you feel like that?" he asked.

"Yes," she said.

"And I try so hard to forget about it, but I can't, not really, and I'm not sure I'd even want to if I could. Because I feel like that doesn't do her justice, you know? She deserves better than that. And I tried to go back to my life in Ordon, I did, I really tried. But I don't think I can. I've changed too much to go back there and pretend everything can go back to normal. Normal is different now. Normal can't be herding goats in Ordon and entertaining the village kids, because I'm not the guy who can do that anymore. I'm not that guy, Zelda. And I don't really know who I am now, and I don't know how I'm going to live after everything that's happened and all the people I've lost and all the things I can't get back, but I know I have to try, because I'm sick of wanting to go back to being scared and hunted all the time and having so, so much responsibility and so many people counting on me just because it means I get to stay with the people I care about,caring about them the same way, because the situation's the same, we're all the same way we were. I don't want it to change, because it scares the hell out of me, but it has to."

The words were pouring out of him, because they needed to be said, and because it was possible he was still slightly delirious, and because Zelda was listening, understanding. "I have to move on. Midna's gone, and I'm not running around Hyrule trying to save the world anymore, so things are obviously gonna be different. But all the friends I made along the way, everyone I loved and still love, they're still here. We just have to live with who we've become, and how we're going to live in this place that's still the same when we're all so different. But I don't have a choice, do I? I've been drowning, Zelda, but I think I know how to fix it now, and I hope to Hylia that this time when I say that it actually works."

"I know you do, Link," Zelda said, her eyes glistening.  He realized with a start that he was crying. And he didn't care.

"I want to stop feeling like this. Like it never ended, like I'm still reliving everything every damned day. I'm starting to think that maybe that's why she left. Because she knew this would happen to me, she saw the signs, and she thought having a living reminder here would make it worse. She couldn't have been more wrong, but I refuse to believe that she did this to hurt me. She wouldn't. She couldn't."

"I believe you," Zelda said, and Link felt the weight on his shoulders get just a bit lighter.

"I'm going to learn how to move on, Zel. It's gonna take some time, maybe more than we want it to, maybe more than I want it to, but I swear to you that I can do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to get better."

"I know you are," Zelda said. She stood, and walked over to the side of his bed. The Queen brushed his hair gently from his eyes, leaned over, and gently kissed his forehead. Link closed his eyes. "Get some rest, Link. There will be plenty of time for you to figure it out when you're well again." She started towards the door.

"And Link," she said softly, looking back at him. "I hope you know that you're not alone."

"Yeah," Link responded, meeting her gaze steadily. For the first time he could remember, he could look at her for more than thirty seconds without seeing Ganondorf in her eyes and having to look away. "I know. Thank you. For everything."

Zelda smiled at him. "I'm the one who should be thanking you. With all that you've done, I should never stop."

Zelda slipped quietly away, shutting the door behind her. Link sighed, sinking back into the bed. His side hurt, badly, and he wanted desperately to sleep. For the first time since he plunged his sword into Ganondorf's chest, he knew that he wouldn't have nightmares.

"I'm going to get better," he murmured as he drifted into sleep. "I've got to."


	14. Amends, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link recovers from his wounds, and has some frank discussions with some of his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> Let me just say, I'm so, SO sorry for going so long without updating. You were supposed to get this at the end of December, but, like an idiot, I typed directly into AO3, and right as I was about to post it, my internet crashed and I lost everything. Ever since then, every time I'd go to write this chapter it just never felt the same, and I never ended up being happy with what I wrote. I know that's a pretty lame excuse, but it's what happened, and I feel like you deserve an explanation for my absence since I've been gone for so long. :)  
> Just a side thing before you read the chapter: before going to post this, I went back and read y'alls comments, and honestly, wow. You guys have been so incredibly supportive of me and this fic, and I'd just like to say, thank you so much. When I started writing this, I didn't really think anyone would read it, I was just writing it because I thought the ending to Twilight Princess was way too abrupt and left too many loose ends. I am completely awestruck by the response this has gotten. I know that in the grand scheme of things, and even in the scope of Archive, this work is pretty small and insignificant, but to me? Holy shit, guys. Almost 200 kudos, 2500 hits, 25 book marks, and over 30 comments is so, so much. I'm so incredibly happy that everyone likes this work, and I love hearing from you guys about what you think. Thank you so, so much for reading, and I'm so glad you like it, and that you've stuck with me, despite the infrequent updates. It means so much to me.   
> Anyways, after all that sappy stuff, here's the chapter. I finally feel like I got it right. You may notice that this is part one of amends, because there is definitely more I want to cover on the topic of Link making amends with his friends, but I wanted to split it up into two chapters. The next one should come soon. But, as you've probably figured out by now, "soon" for me is relative. I promise it won't be this long between updates again, though. (Did I mention that I'm sorry about that?)   
> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, and again, I'm sorry it took so long! Thanks again for all the support! You are all wonderful <3

It took Link almost a month to completely go through his ‘people I need to check in with about the wolf fiasco and my mental state’ list. 

It took so long in part because he was stuck on bed rest for the first week and a half after the first time he regained consciousness, and even for a few weeks after that, he was still in enough pain that even talking to his friends wasn’t always enough of an incentive to get him to walk long distances. The other major obstacle was the fact that his friends weren’t always the easiest to track down.

Ashei he talked to first, because she was the first to materialize in the royal apothecary. One moment, he was daydreaming, trying to figure out how to work around his PTSD and get on with his life, the next second, Ashei was standing in the doorway, waiting to be invited in.

“Hey,” she said.

“Ashei!” Link said, wincing slightly as he tried to sit up in bed. “How are you? Aren’t you supposed to be guarding the Queen or something?” 

“Or something,” Ashei agreed. “Also, I wouldn’t try to sit up just yet. That’s a nasty wound you’ve got there, Link. Not that you need me to tell you that.”

“Yeah,” Link said, and this time his wince had nothing to do with the pain. “Courtesy of a scared Ordon villager.”

Ashei nodded. “I’d assumed as much,” she said, her tone apologetic. “What in Hylia’s name happened?”

_ At least she’s forward,  _ Link thought to himself wryly. “I had a…” he hesitated for a moment on what word to use, “... _ dream,  _ and I woke up, and I wasn’t thinking very clearly, and I touched the shadow crystal that Midna left.” Ashei raised an eyebrow.

“As in, the one that turns you into a wolf,” she said. It wasn’t a question. Link nodded, trying and failing to hold her gaze. He looked down at his hands sheepishly. 

“Yeah, that one,” he said. 

“And you did this because of a bad dream?”

“It wasn’t bad, per se. It was just… I don’t know. I did it, and that’s what matters,” Link said.

“Actually, I’m going to disagree with you on this one. It  _ does  _ matter why you did it. Was this a flashback dream? Was this a nightmare? Was this wishful thinking? What?” Ashei said. The fact that she didn’t say it confrontationally sent a pang of remorse through Link. She wasn’t even pissed. She was just concerned. Just like all the other members of the Resistance would be. They were just worried about him, and he had put them through this. 

“It was about Midna,” he said. It was the first time in a long while he had been able to say her name without pausing beforehand, afraid that the words would send him spiraling into oblivion. He was strangely proud of it. “She was talking to me, and talking some cryptic shit about Twili nursery rhymes, and the moon, and how she left me a trail to follow back to her. And it was stupid, I know, but I woke up, and there was a snare of her dress caught in the door, and without thinking I just-”

“-Did something unbelievably stupid,” Ashei finished for him.

“Yeah.” Ashei contemplated him for a moment.

“Too bad you went and got yourself shot, or else you could’ve grabbed whatever it was you saw and taken it to Shad or someone to try to figure out what was going on.”

“I wasn’t really thinking that far ahead,” Link said, at once appreciative and a bit stung by her bluntness.

“Well, obviously, dummy,” she said playfully. “You’re sure it was Midna’s?”

“Positive,” Link said. Even with the events that had taken place after the dream, it was still vivid in his mind, an ever present thought ready to be contemplated any time his brain wasn’t occupied with something else. It was just as real as his conversation with Ashei was. He was sure of it.

“Magicy stuff, I would assume.”

“Pretty sure.”

“Hmmm,” said Ashei. “Have you asked Shad about it?” she said after a while.

“Haven’t seen him. I was planning on talking to everyone from the Resistance, once I can actually stand on my own,” he said, aiming for a joke at the end. Ashei gave him a funny look.

“You don’t need to be able to stand on your own to talk to us, Link,” she said. “You should know by now. We’d carry you. We’ll always carry you.”

“I know, Ashei,” he said with what he hoped was a warm smile. “I know. Now I’ve just got to work on accepting it.”

“Let me know how that goes, Hero,” she said, standing up. “I hate to cut our chat short, but I do have to get back to Zel-Her Majesty,” Ashei corrected. “Also, you look like you’re ready to pass out from exhaustion.”

“Thanks,” he said dryly.

“I can try to track down Shad for you if you’d like,” Ashei said as she headed towards the door. “If you’re really set on not getting up until the doctors say you can, I’ll try to send him your way.”

“When has not getting up until doctors say I can ever sounded like me?” Link asked with a smile. Ashei pretended to consider.

“Well, now that you mention it, never, but people can change or whatever, I guess,” she said. “Oh, and by the way, Link, we’re gonna need a new name.”

“What?”

“We can’t very well be the Resistance anymore, can we? Nothing here to resist.”

“Yeah,” Link said softly. “Tell you what, once I actually get used to living with that concept, I’ll let you know if I can come up with any zingers.”

“That’s my boy,” Ashei said with a smile.

“Get back to your guard duty,” Link retorted.

“See you around, Link,” the captain of the guard called as she walked out of his room. “And hey, I’m glad you’re not stuck as a wolf forever!”

Link laughed. “Me, too,” he said, even though he knew she was already gone.

_ One down. Nine or so left to go. _

  
  


__ __ __ __ __ __ _ *** _

  
  


Link, as he sort-of told Ashei he would, was out of bed long before the royal doctor wanted him to be. Then again, if that doctor had his way, Link wouldn’t be allowed to ride Epona for another few months, and no way was Link letting that happen. So instead he bribed the guard posted outside of his door with free drinks for a month at Telma’s (even with Ashei’s ongoing reforms to Hyrule’s military, the bribe itself was laughably easy) and snuck out after week two in bed had driven him half mad.

Telma didn’t even need to turn around to be able to tell that it was him. “I was wondering when you’d be around,” she called. “Ashei said you were awake. I figured it wouldn’t be that long until you’d come to see me.”

“Hey, Telma,” Link said, trying not to look as relieved as he felt to finally slump into one of the bar stools after the seemingly endless walk from the castle to the bar. The sneaking around and doubling back that was just as much from habit as from trying to avoid any guards had made the journey take much longer than it probably had to.

A meow at his feet made him look down. “Why hello, Louise,” he cooed, knowing full well that his tone of voice would annoy the ever living Hylia out of her. “I never properly thanked you for your help a few weeks ago. Thanks a ton. Couldn’t have done it without you, my lovely feline sidekick.”

Despite the fact that she was a cat and had very limited control of her facial features, Louise’s expression made it abundantly clear what she thought of his remarks. Link chuckled to himself, sitting back up. He hadn’t leaned over much to begin with- his side hurt like hell every time he moved, period, let alone doing idiotic things like bending over.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Telma noted, an easy smile breezing across her face. “They giving you the good stuff up at the castle, honey?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Link said. Telma laughed. 

“Just teasing you, sugar,” she said. “So, are you gonna give me the rundown, or what?”

Link told her the same things he had told Ashei. He had a feeling that by the end of his list, he’d have a pretty good summary available about the events of the past few weeks of his life. Telma listened quietly until the end. When he finished, she turned around to grab a saucer of milk for Louise. After giving the cat a few affectionate pats, Telma straightened up with a sigh.

“Oh, honey,” she said. “Just what are we going to do about you?”

“That was the last stupid thing I’m going to do,” Link said. “I swear.”

“That’s cute, honey,” Telma said. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“Okay, maybe not the last thing,” Link admitted. “But the last Midna-related thing. The last Twilight Crisis-related thing. I’m going to try to move on now. I swear.”

“Hmm, where have I heard that before?” Telma asked. “Oh, wait,” she said before Link could comment. “Oh, that’s right. You said that a couple months back. Look how that turned out.”

“Okay that’s fair, but this time I mean it,” Link said. This wasn't the reaction he had expected from Telma. She seemed almost… angry. He didn’t know what to do about an angry Telma.

“You don’t need to convince me, honey,” Telma said, pausing their conversation for a few minutes to fill up the drinks of some of her customers. When she finally turned back to him she said, “Convincing me of anything is impossible. I hear enough people talk every day that I’m not easily swayed.”

“I’ve noticed,” Link said dryly.

“Kindly shut your mouth please, sugar, I’m talking,” Telma said. Link shut up. “I love you like a son, honey, and it’s no secret that I worry about you, but the amount of times I’ve heard the other folks in the Resistance talk about how they’re going to put the Crisis behind them is entirely disproportionate to the amount of times it’s actually happened. The only person who actually might have lived up to that claim was Auru, and even that I’m not sure about, because I haven’t heard from him in months.”

_ Scratch that conversation off my list,  _ Link thought.

“You want to convince me? Actually get happy, Link.” Telma left to grab something from the backroom, and even after she returned, they spent a few minutes in silence.

“I really am trying, Telma,” Link said earnestly. Telma sighed again. She sounded so tired, and it made Link’s heart break to know that he was the one who had done it. 

“I know, sugar. I know. Do me a favor and make sure it works out, okay?” Telma smiled at him, and Link knew that all was forgiven. 

“Thank you,” Link said, and both of them knew that it was for much, much more than just the current subject.

“Don’t mention it, honey,” she said. “Any time.” And that was for more than their conversation, too.

 

***

 

Despite Ashei’s claims, Shad was near impossible to find. After checking with Zelda, Link learned that the Head Mage had taken a trip out to the desert, presumably to take a look at the demolished mirror. According to the Queen, he wasn’t expected back for at least another week.

Link briefly considered going after his friend. After all, they had a lot to talk about. For one thing, Link needed to thank him profusely for his role in getting the wolf into the Castle that night half a month ago.  _ And, more importantly,  _ Link thought, somewhat guilty over his priorities,  _ I need to ask him about dream magic, or whatever goddess-damned type of thing she was doing to let her speak to me. _

Link pushed the thought away, and ultimately decided to wait for Shad’s return. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know about Midna’s tricks, anyway, and he was worried that if he went after Shad now, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from asking.

He was lying to himself. He desperately wanted to know how Midna had done it, and, above all else, he wanted to know if they could recreate it. Link thought that maybe, if he could see her, even in the strange dream world of Midna’s Twilit rhymes about the moon, and the collapse of the dream near the end, it would be enough for him. Maybe he’d be able to feel her presence enough that she could stave off the thoughts of the monsters he had so often fought, or the ordeals he had faced, the trials he had overcome. She helped him feel sane in the midst of chaos for three years. Maybe if he could see her, even just once in a while, she could help him feel sane in this cloak of safety, too.

But Link wasn’t a fool, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle someone telling him that his one shot to see Midna again wasn’t possible, so he resigned himself to waiting for Shad’s return, hoping that he’d be able to get the idea out of his head before his friend reappeared in Castle Town.

It took all of three days after deciding to wait for Shad’s return for Link to get restless. He knew he couldn’t handle a journey to the desert by any means of transportation, but he was regaining more and more mobility every day thanks to the seemingly endless supply of fairies, and the skill of the royal family’s doctors, and he felt cooped up. Almost trapped. He longed to travel again, to ride Epona under the night sky, to watch sunrise in Kakariko Village, to dive into Lake Hylia as the day heat up, to view the sunset over the old prison in the Gerudo desert. He needed to  _ move. _

_ I could always go to Ordon.  _ Over the next few days, the lack of Shad’s return and the continual buzz of energy building behind his temples, the thought grew more and more prominent in his thoughts. After all, Rusl was there, and he was on Link’s “need to talk to” list. So were Collin and the kids. It made sense. Plus, he needed to know if the fabric from Midna’s dress was still stuck in his door, and the longer he waited, the higher the probability that if it hadn’t been lost during his flight from Talo and the ensuing chaos he assumed had descended on the people of Ordon, it would still be gone by the time he returned.

Link took one more day to “rest and recover” before setting out. Somehow, he managed to trick the doctors into thinking that’s what he was doing while he prepared supplies, trying to figure out if Epona really had found her way to the royal stables like Zelda said she had, and where she was being kept. Making sure she was ready to ride. Making sure  _ he  _ was ready to ride.

The next morning he woke before most of Castle Town and stole down to the stables. The sight of his horse brought him just as much joy as it had the previous evening when he had gone in search of her. Link rubbed her nose before bringing his forehead to rest against her snout. “Good horse,” he said. “Hylia above, I missed you.”

Epona’s quiet nicker said that she felt the same way.  _ Thank the goddess for Epona,  _ Link thought silently as he got her ready to go.  _ I don’t know what I’d do without her. _

“Thanks for showing up, Epona,” Link whispered to her. “Who knows when I’d be able to get Zelda to let me leave without you here.”

Link wondered what Epona was saying when she snorted at him. Was she pointing out that Zelda probably wouldn’t let him leave if he wasn’t sneaking off, or was she agreeing that she was, indeed, a vital part of Link’s life?

A bit of both, Link decided, and quietly lead his horse out of the stable and onto Hyrule Field just as the first hint of sunrise shone over the horizon.

 

Link had to stop frequently throughout the day. His wound still ached, despite the fact that it was almost fully healed. He had to take frequent breaks, and every once in a while, Link would hear a noise behind him and draw his sword instinctively, turning around to be greeted by the sight of insects or small animals. Link wasn’t sure whether the fact that his battle instincts refused to go away was a good or a bad thing. When he looked over his shoulder at a snapping twig for the twentieth time, it actually was a bokoblin, and Link decided that while he might never need to fight a monstrosity like Aragok again, it was probably for the best that he still knew how to expertly defend himself. 

By the time he reached Ordon Village, it was nearing sunset. Because of the hills surrounding the village, dusk was already settling over the town when he arrived.

At first, he was going to climb the ladder to his house right away, and scour the deck for any trace of Midna. As he was about to get off Epona, he saw the dried blood on the ladder, and the crimson stain on the dirt below. He changed his mind, and kept riding into town.

His original plan was to talk to Rusl and Collin first, but as he went to knock on the door, he saw through the window the family happily seated around the table, eating and talking, with the baby sound asleep. While he knew the family would gladly welcome him in, and wouldn’t think of his presence as an intrusion at all, might view it as a cause for celebration, even, Link didn’t want to interrupt them. 

As he turned and walked back the path from Rusl’s house to the majority of the village, Link realized that Malo and Talo would probably be in bed already, and Beth’s parents probably were in the process of trying to get her to finish her chores and wouldn’t take kindly to him showing up. Which left only one other person in the village for him to talk to.

_ Well. She is on the list. _

Link looked over at Epona helplessly. The horse whinnied at him. While he couldn’t understand her anymore, Link was fairly sure he got the gist of it:  _ Get on with it! You can fight monsters on bridges thousands of meters into the air but you can’t talk to your friend? And people call you brave!  _

Epona had a point.

Before he could second guess himself, Link hopped across the river and strode towards her house, taking the steps to the porch two at a time. He paused, fist up frozen right before he could touch the wood. His gaze followed the darkening trail away from the village and up the hill.  _ I could always go talk to Fado. Maybe he hasn’t put the goats in for the night. Epona and I could help. I’m sure he hasn’t replaced me yet, so he could use the help, and I’d love to see him. _

Epona stomped impatiently behind him. “Alright, alright,” he said, feeling bad about the irritation that he knew seeped into his tone. “How is it that even when I can’t understand what you’re saying, you still manage to boss me around?”

Link knocked twice, loudly, definitively.  _ Hylia, this is a terrible idea. I haven’t even thought about what I’m going to say yet. What if she’s changed her mind about being my friend? What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if she’s still angry?  _

The questions raced through Link’s mind faster than light. The door opened before he could find the answer to any of them.

“Hey, Ilia,” Link said.

 


	15. Amends, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Link and Ilia have the long overdue heart to heart that you've all been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up, everybody? I'm here with your next update!  
> It's been even longer than usual, hasn't it? Yikes. None the less, here I am, still writing on this fic, so as always, please be patient, and I'll get y'all some good content as soon as I think I've done the best I can do on each section.   
> You guys have been so incredibly patient and gracious about how atrocious I am at updating, and I'd like to thank you so much for that. It makes me really happy that you all like this story enough to wait for my slow butt to write you more. :)  
> Anyway, thanks for listening to my sappy ramblings as always, and I hope you enjoy the chapter! <3

Ilia’s expression of shock was soft across her features only for a split second before it transformed into a mixture of relief and happiness. Link opened his mouth to say he didn’t know what, but before he could formulate any words, Ilia flung herself forward and wrapped her arms around him. The force of it knocked Link back a step, and he had to fight not to cry out from the pain it prompted down his side. Despite it, Link didn’t hesitate to return the embrace.

The two of them stood on the front steps for a long time, dusk settling fully around them as the sun faded over the horizon, not saying anything. Finally, Ilia pulled back.

“Do you want to come inside?” she asked.

  
  


***

 

The Mayor, Link learned, had left the day before to visit Kakariko Village and thank Renado, in person, for taking care of the village children during the Twilight Crisis. Ilia and Link were alone in the living room, neither of them sure where to start, both desperately waiting for the kettle over the stove to boil so that one of them would have an excuse to jump up and turn it off, busying themselves with something other than the thoughts they weren’t sure how to share.

When the kettle finally did start whistling, Link was up out of his chair in a flash.

“Since when have your reflexes been that fast?” Ilia said teasingly, before flinching as she realized what she had said.

“Why do people always seem to forget that I worked with Fado at the ranch for years? Do people not think that you get pretty good reflexes when you have to wrestle runaway goats every few days?” Link said, trying to give another reason so that she wouldn’t feel bad.

“I didn’t think you needed good reflexes for that, just muscle,” Ilia said. Link’s back was to her as he took the kettle off from over the fire, but he could hear the minor undertone of relief in her voice as he gave her a change of topic.

“That’s what I thought, too, until goats started running me over because I couldn’t anticipate where they were going.”

“That never happened,” Ilia said with a small laugh.

“Yes, it did! Do you not remember the day that three of them got loose and I only got one of them on their way down the hill?” Link said, fake hurt in his voice.

“You and Fado spent the rest of the day chasing them around town, worrying that they were going to get out into Faron Woods and be lost forever,” Ilia recalled, a smile dancing across her face when he turned back to look at her.

“That wasn’t an unrealistic thing to worry about!” Link said, hearing the slightly mocking tone that his friend was adopting. “One of them almost made it past my house! I was so worried Fado was going to fire me.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah! I had let three of his goats get lose and one of them almost made it out of the province before we caught him. The whole day I worried that at the end of it, I was going to get yelled at in front of the town.”

“The great Link Dragmire, ranch hand, was scared of getting yelled at?” Ilia asked, her voice dripping with amusement.

“Not scared, per se,” Link said, carrying the kettle over to the counter to pour the water into the waiting cups. “Apprehensive. Malo would’ve spent weeks muttering under his breath about how I’m not as good as I think I am if that had happened.”

“Oh, so you were worried about impressing a little kid?” Ilia teased.

“I couldn’t care less about what Malo thinks of me,” Link said dismissively.

“Bullshit. You care about what everyone thinks of you,” Ilia said, walking over to the cabinet to grab tea bags. It was a choreographed dance, the steps they took throughout the Mayor’s house while making tea, a routine they had slipped into countless times before, and did this time as well without even knowing it.

“Okay, you’re not wrong, Malo? After begging me relentlessly for hours about showing him and the other kids some moves with a sword, all he did was be condescending under his breath about how “it’s not that hard.” He’s smaller than the sword, I’d like to see him do anything with it. He’s five!”

“He’ll grow out of it,” Ilia said, a smirk on her face.

“I shot a post on a hill from half a kilometer away, and in return he said something along the lines of “not bad, at least you won’t die in the near future.” What a jerk.”

“Don’t let anyone else catch you saying that,” Ilia said. “They all think you love him.”

“I do,” Link protested. “Most times,” he added under his breath. Ilia bumped his shoulder playfully.

“The tabloids would be all over this, if only they knew,” Ilia said, the levity gone as soon as the sentence left her mouth. “Shit. Sorry. I really am trying not to bring it up.”

Link smiled ruefully. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Eventually people I knew from before are going to have to stop treating it like a taboo topic. It might as well start with you.”

“It’s hard to treat it as a casual subject when you freak every time it gets brought up,” Ilia said, snatching her tea from around Link and retreating to the living room. Link winced, anticipating a remark about their last interaction than never came.

“I’m working on it, if it makes you feel any better.”

“I’d start by trying to be able to casually mention it in conversation without flipping, and work from there,” Ilia suggested, sipping her tea.

“It’s kind of hard to do that when I can’t even casually think about it,” Link said, but there was no venom in his voice. He rubbed his eyes wearily. “Every time something happens to remind me of it, the memories hit me like a ball and chain.”   
“That’s kind of troubling. Understandable, sure. But troubling,” Ilia commented, watching him over the rim of her cup.

“So I’ve noticed,” Link said. “I’m trying to move on. I really am. It’s just hard, I mean,  _ really hard, _ when everything reminds me of one trauma or another.”

Ilia was quiet, thinking for a moment before she spoke. “The first few months in Kakariko after I recovered my memories, I was terrified of the dark, because the monsters would keep Impaz and I locked in the dark for hours, sometimes even days. Since we were blindfolded too, we could never tell when they were coming to beat us. I had to have at least three lanterns lit to even think about sleeping. Most nights, I slept in the kids’ room on the floor, even though Renado had found room for me with one of the other villagers.”

“I’m sorry,” Link said sincerely, even though he knew better than most how little those words really meant.

“It’s not your fault,” Ilia said.  _ Actually, it is,  _ Link thought, but remained quiet. He knew better than to voice that particular opinion. He had snapped at Ilia for less. “The kids never questioned it; I think they were scared, too. I didn’t even need to ask them to keep lanterns on for me. They had lanterns lit by themselves. Scarred of the Shadow Beings, I assume.”

Shit. Link hadn’t even thought about the children, what it must’ve been like for them. They had always acted fine, so he had just assumed-

“You’re not selfish for not realizing, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Ilia said, cutting his thoughts off from that road before he could take it. “And you’re not an idiot, and you’re not self-absorbed for not noticing any signs they might have had. During the Crisis, you clearly had your own problems, and the weight of the world resting on your shoulders. And clearly you are so far from fine right now, that I think it’s probably pretty hard for you to think about anything else.”

Link remained silent, knowing she wasn’t done. He studied her across the room, legs crossed, leaning back leisurely, holding her cup loosely in her hand, her expression serious but open. Goddesses, he had missed her.

“The point I’m trying to make her is, you might be jacked up right now, but so is everyone else. We just have learned not to act like it. Granted, we’ve all had a bit more time than you, but we figured it out regardless. It’s hard, and you’re never, ever gonna go back to where you were before. Ever. And the sooner you can stop calling that ‘going back to normal’--which I know is what you do, because everyone does it--the better. Because trying to get back to that is just going to drag you down, Link.”

“I know,” he said, gaze flitting away from her and to the tea in his hands.

“I know we had all been hoping that you would come back here. I really wanted you to decide that you could still live here, still be around, changed a little bit but still playing with the kids and helping Fado catch stray goats.” Ilia paused, a bittersweet smile on her face. Her eyes weren’t on him anymore, unfocused and looking into space, into the past, the future, what could have been. “But if you can’t do that, I get it. I had a hard time when I first came back here, but I worked through it, and I’m happy here. But it’s unfair of me to expect that you can do the same, that you would even  _ want  _ to. I’m sorry that I wanted you to, and that I pushed you to, even though it was obvious that you didn’t want to. And I’m sorry for-”

“Hold up,  _ you’re  _ apologizing to  _ me _ ? I’m the one who blew it last time we talked,” Link interrupted. “Don’t get me wrong, I hear what you’re saying, and I appreciate it, and I’m sorry I didn’t ask if you were okay after everything that happened. But  _ I  _ yelled at  _ you. _ I apologize to you in this situation.”

Ilia smirked at him, which took Link aback slightly. He tried to hide it, but he wasn’t sure if he had succeeded. Monsters hadn’t really cared if he hid his emotions or not. The only people who cared about that were Hylians and Gorons and Zoras, which he saw very few of during the Twilight Crisis. “Oh, I’m definitely expecting a killer apology later.” She flinched slightly at her choice of words, but kept going. “I’m just owning up to my contributions to our fall out. I’ve heard it’s something adults are supposed to do.”

“Oh shit. Happy birthday,” Link said. Ilia’s smirk widened.

“ _ Thanks, _ ” she said, no bite in her mocking tone. “The point of that, though, was that you were right.  _ Partially, _ ” she clarified when Link’s face split into a grin. “And don’t get used to it. Gotta remember that I’m still the smart one of our dynamic duo.”

“Sure,” Link acknowledged.

“I am a bit self absorbed sometimes. In general, but especially at that moment. Like I said, I was going through my own stuff, but that didn’t give me any excuse to treat you like I did. I wanted us to be the same, you know? It felt like everything else was different, and I wanted to be able to rely on you.”

“You can rely on me,” Link said automatically.

“ _ I know that, _ ” Ilia said. “Really, I do. But I could tell that you were different, and it was killing me that you couldn’t see what I’d been through. Which isn’t your fault-”

“Ilia, I appreciate how great you’re being about all of this, but it really is my fault. I’m your friend. I knew that something had happened to you, and I never asked you. I should’ve. I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted. Don’t think that gets you out of apologizing for the other stuff, though,” Ilia said, a joking tone in her voice. “Anyways. I just wanted something to stay the same, and nothing was, and so I treated you badly to try to get our old dynamic back. Which was shitty, and I promise I’ll never do it again.”

“Thanks.”

“Sure thing. And I want you to know, Link, that you’re still my best friend. That’s what you’re always going to be. And nothing that happened during the Crisis is going to change that. I swear. And I believe that whatever we have going on between us after this, it’s going to be spectacular. If that’s what you want, of course.” Ilia looked away from him, fidgeting with her mug. It ripped Link’s heart apart.

“Of course I want to stay friends, Ilia. I love you.” And it was true. Link didn’t love Ilia in the way he loved Midna, or the way he loved Telma and the Resistance, or the way he loved Zelda, or Fado, or the village kids. He loved Ilia in a way all of her own. But Hylia, did he love her all the same.

“I don’t expect anything from you,” Ilia said.

“I know. But I want to stay friends. I don’t want to lose you just because I’m wrapped up in my own shit,” Link said. “You deserve better than that.”

“Oh, I know,” Ilia said cheekily. Link tossed a pillow at her, purposefully aiming wide so that she could duck without spilling her tea.

“ _ As I was saying,  _ I don’t want me trying to sort out my head to get in the way of our friendship. I need you, Ilia. I missed you so much during the Crisis, and then to get you back, and have you…”

“Not remember?” Ilia said. “You can say it out loud, don’t worry.”

“To have you not remember,” Link confirmed, “and to have you see me without recognizing me, talk to me without knowing who I was or that we were best friends, it freaked me out. And I missed you even more, if that makes sense. And even though I’m still a mess over everything that’s happened, I don’t want to lose you again.”

“How sweet of you,” Ilia drawled.

“There are other pillows over here,” Link warned.

“Is this how you apologize to most people?” she asked.

“No, this is a treatment I reserve specifically for you,” Link responded, his voice dripping with sweetness. Ilia threw the same pillow back over at him. She didn’t aim to miss.

“I’m sorry I lost it at you,” Link said, and there it was. Finally out in the air between them. The unspoken knowledge of what had happened when they’d last spoke. Of how they had left things. Of what they were both afraid of. “I’m going to try insanely hard never to do it again.”

“Okay,” Ilia said.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” Ilia confirmed. “Can I tell you something?”

“Always.”

Ilia sighed. “I’m going to slip up, Link. I’m going to mention your newfound fame accidentally, or ask you about stuff from the Crisis before I remember that you don’t want to talk about it. I’m going to try not to, but it will happen. And you can’t lose it again like that.”

“I know.”

“I mean it.”

“I know, Ilia.”

“Even after everything that’s happened to us, to  _ me,  _ that was  _ still  _ one of the worst days of my life. I was a wreck for weeks after. And you had disappeared, and no on knew where you were, and Talo shot a monster outside of the village-” Link’s stomach sank, and he suddenly became aware again of the pain running down a neat line in his side. “-and no one was sure if it had gotten you, and if it had, you weren’t there to protect us if it came back, and we had  _ lost  _ you-” Ilia stopped herself and took a deep, shaky breath. “I was worried,” she said, and didn’t go on.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I know you are. But you can’t do that again. We can’t get into a fight, and then you run off and something awful happens and I don’t know what’s happened to you or if you’re dead or alive-”

“Ilia,” Link cut in.

“-or if I’m ever going to see you again-” she continued over him.

“ _ Ilia,”  _ Link said again.

“-or if I’ll be stuck not knowing what happened to you forever, and I’ll spend the rest of my life knowing that the last time we talked before you vanished we had some stupid fight because neither of us could bring ourselves to talk about what happened.”

“Ilia,” Link said gently after she had finished. She looked over to him, eyes glistening from tears she was fighting so hard to keep from falling, to keep from showing in her voice. “I’m sorry.”

She sniffled. “I know,” she said.

“I’m not going to do that again.”

“You can’t know that,” Ilia said.

“I can,” Link said, using the same gentle tone. “I promise.”

“Okay.” They were quiet for a moment.

“Ilia?”

“Yeah?”

“I really am trying to get better. I’m trying to talk about it more, and trying to do new things instead of forcing myself into doing what I did before, and I’m trying not to snap at people for being concerned at me.”

Ilia smiled. “I kind of figured you were,” she said. “You had to get it through your thick head eventually.”

“It took a while, didn’t it?” Link asked.

“I’ll say it did.”

“I’d be great if we could talk about it sometime,” Link said, pushing the words out before he could second guess himself. “About what happened to you, and what happened to me. So that we’d both know. If-if you think that would help,” he stammered.

Ilia smiled at him again, taking a sip of her tea. “I think it would help,” she said softly. “Any time you want to have that conversation, I’m here.”

Link took a long sip of his tea, letting the drink scald the back of his throat on the way down. “Ilia?” he said again.

“Yeah?”

Link took a deep breath. He looked his friend in the eyes from across the room and said what he should have said months ago. “I have something to tell you.”

And then he told her everything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's me again. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!  
> I just had one quick thing to add. Since summer is coming up soon, hopefully I should get more done on this, so updates should be more frequent over the summer. :)  
> As always, I love hearing from you, so if you have anything you want to say, definitely leave a comment! It always makes my day to hear what y'all think about the story.  
> You're all amazing! Have a great rest of your day, and I hope you enjoyed the newest chapter :)


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